Sunday, November 19, 2017

What do I remember about when each of you were born? (Jacob)

If I remember more about Jacob's birth it is that I have had less time to forget.  By comparison, it wasn't so long ago.  (Not meaning that you all are getting old, but that I am.)
   When we lived in Pleasant Grove, one of my callings in the ward was Ward Mission Leader.  One of my duties was to teach the Temple Preparation class.  Some of the students in that class were young couples who for whatever reason had not yet been to the temple.  When graduates of the class went to the temple for their first visit, we liked to go with them.  So it was on one of these occasions that Mom and I were asked to be the witness couple.  In the prayer circle, Mom felt the Spirit tell her that she was to have another baby.  As I have mentioned, when Emily was born, Mother had her tubes tied.  When we passed into the Celestial Room, Mother was crying and asked me to tell her that she was crazy.  I told her that I already knew that and asked what was the matter.  She told me of the impression that she had while in the prayer circle.  I told her that I had felt that we were to have another child for some time but had keep it to myself because I believed what her Bishop had told us when we were engaged.  At that time he had counseled me that Jodi would know when it was time for us to have another child.  He was right.
   Mom would have to have a tubal reanastomosis.  Insurance will not pay for this kind of elective surgery and the cost would be $6000.  We didn't have that kind of money.  I had recently left SILO to work for RC Willey.  SILO went out of business, and owed its employees money set aside for retirement.  I had the option to take a lump sum payment (for which I would owe taxes) or to reinvest the money in an individual retirement account, IRA.  I took the lump sum because, after the tax we had exactly $6000.  Nephi is right: the Lord will help us to do what he has asked us to do.  
   All of this took place before I decided to go back to school to become a teacher.  It would be about six years before Jacob would be born.
   Mom spent the day in the hospital recovering from the surgery.  I visited her room at the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center.  She looked weaker and more frail than I have ever seen her and felt a thrill of fear run through me.  I knew what Grandma and Grandpa Brown would want to do to me if they could see her in that condition.
   Then we waited.  After four years we began to wonder if we were sure about what we had felt in the temple.  Those moments of doubt are real and natural.  Knowing that things happen in the Lord's time is an important gift.  We didn't give up hope.  It wasn't long after we had moved to Scott City that we learned that Mother was expecting.  I have often thought about that.  Had Jacob been born in Pleasant Grove, we might have not made the move to Western Kansas.  Another thought is that because we were willing to follow the Lord's prompting to move, we were blessed with the thing we desired.  What I can say for certain is that the experiences of my life can be explained in no other way than that there is a God in heaven who knows his children and who gives direction through the still, small voice of his Spirit.  Learning to hear and to follow that Spirit is perhaps the thing that will bless our lives more than anything else.
   So, it was in September of my second year teaching that Jacob was born on Thursday, the 6th.   When Jacob was born he inhaled some of the amniotic fluid.  The possibility that this might cause pneumonia meant that Jake would spend his first week or so of life in an incubator in the NICU of the Garden City, Hospital.
   We were worried about him, though I believed that everything would be all right.  Still, I asked Adam to come with me to the hospital to give Jacob a blessing.  He had not yet been given a name, and we needed one to use when giving the blessing.  Although we would have the official name and blessing ordinance at the church, we needed to decide what name we would use.
   Mom and I had originally decided on James, after Captain James Brown.  Grandpa Brown liked the idea that one of his would have a family name.  But one day in Sunday School, we were reading about Jacob from the Book of Mormon.  In particular Lehi's reference to his son as "my firstborn in the wilderness," struck me and I expressed the idea to Mom.  Mom came with Adam and me when we gave the blessing and she expressed no preference on the name.  I didn't want to force my choice on the matter, so I proposed that we toss a coin.  Heads for James, tails for Jacob.  Tails it was.  So when we gave the little boy a priesthood blessing we used the name, Jacob Brown Bennion.  Later in church he would be given that name officially on the records of the church.
    On Tuesday, 11 Sept, I stopped by the school to check on my substitute and to see that the lesson plans were in order.  While I was visiting the office a breaking news story was talking about an airliner that had crashed into one of the New York twin towers.  The cameras were focused on the hole in the building and the smoke billowing from it.  Then the camera caught sight of a second airliner coming toward the buildings.  When it struck, it was apparent that this was no accident, but a definite terrorist attack, and that it was a massive coordinated attack.
   I drove to the hospital and brought Mom home.  Jacob had to stay a little longer.  The night that we brought Jacob home he woke us in the middle of the night, as babies do.  At that moment I realized the severity of what we had done.  Emily, the youngest of you, was eleven years old.  All of you could feed yourselves, dress yourselves, get yourselves to the bathroom, and sleep through the night.  Now we would have to begin this thing all over again.  But we soon got used to the routines of parenthood.
  As a boy I had read the stories of Wilford Woodruff's childhood, and how many brushes with death he had.  So, I wasn't surprised when Jacob's guardian angels were put to the test.  We had one of those walkers that a pre walking child can scoot around in.  Jacob loved it.  But there was a staircase around the corner at the end of the kitchen.  The door to that staircase had been left open and Jacob found it.  Leaning over to see down the stairs caused the walker to start to tumble.  Jacob was lifeless when Mom got to him.
    In a panic, Mom called Bishop Cockerill who came and checked Jake.  He was OK, but bruised black and blue.  He was always a very bright baby, but for the next three days he was slow in response, and seemed to be in a real cloud.  I was afraid of what brain damage there might be.  Luckily the infant brain is much more resilient than the adult brain.  The infant brain actually goes through a cycle of getting rid of unused or unneeded brain cells.  In other words, the infant brains sculpts itself to its environment.  Jacob was young enough that he was still growing brain cells, and so he came out of the trauma in excellent shape.  We were blessed.
   After moving to Shallow Water, Jacob had another brush with death.  He had learned how to open the gate and so, on a winter day he escaped and went exploring.  The neighbors who were playing cards heard what sounded like a cat fight out in the yard.  On investigation, they found Jacob on his back in their little duck pond.  He was soaked, cold, and frightened.
   I have often pondered about that experience.  A little boy leaning over a pond is more likely to fall in face first.  Had this happened, the neighbors would have never heard his cries.  It scares me still to think of it.  He must have turned from the bank of the pond to climb up from its brink and then fallen backwards into it.  I have no doubt that his guardian angels were on hand.
    I know that the Lord has something special for Jacob to do.  The most important thing he will do is to be a husband and a father.
   When Jacob was still young, Mother and I went on a trip with some students to Italy.  Jacob had serious separation anxiety, so we didn't tell him what was about to happen.  Emily had gone ahead to Missouri (I think there was a reunion or something going on.)  We stopped at Aunt Jeanne's and left Jacob there while we went to the airport in Wichita.  Aunt Jeanne took Jacob to Missouri where he was watched by Emily.  He would be left behind in a couple more years when Emily went with Mother and I to London and Paris.  Living in Shallow Water where he had few friends, plus these times that we left him behind gave Jacob a strong case of separation anxiety.
   Because I am older, and now dealing with cancer, I can't do the things with a boy that I used to do.  When I would come home after school I would be so tired that I had little energy.  Jacob would be excited to see me.  So we would play a game of Good Guys and Bad Guys on the bed.  I would lie down and Jacob would pretend to be Spiderman and web me up.  I would wrestle with him and basically sit on him while he squirmed to get loose.  I would pretend to be the bad guy and call "Bad Guy Central" calling for back up.  "I've got Spiderman all tied up, but I don't know how long I can hold him.  Send back up quick!"  Jacob would eventually squirm loose and then we would wrestle some more.  It was great fun, and allowed me to relax a little.
   Jacob started to watch movies at a young age.  In Shallow Water, he watched Tarzan and would try to act out the part.  Jumanji was another favorite.  He became enamored with dice, which he called "Jumanji" and carried with him wherever we went.
   Then it was Spiderman.  By this time he was developing his physical skills and would bounce around the place while watching he movie, trying to mimic every move the hero made.  We got Spiderman outfits which fed this fascination.
   Jacob is one of the youngest back packers I have ever known.  All of you went backpacking with me at young ages, but Jacob was only three when we kicked into the Big Sandy.  He was very much into his Spiderman phase at this time and was always sticking Spiderman poses.  On the first day I noticed that Jake was starting to act a little different--cranky, so to speak.  Finally I realized that he needed to poop, but didn't know what, how, or when.  We had potty trained him too well.  So we made a search for a rock, not to big, but not too small--the perfect Goldilocks rock.  And the rock must have a split down the middle just wide enough to be a latrine.  We found one, and it took just a little convincing for Jacob to adopt his "potty rock."
   He was a great little hiker carrying his own pack with his clothes and his sleeping bag.  We should go back there.  It is a hike that I should be able to make if we took it in two days.
   Currently Jacob is developing as a runner.  I have to apologize for being too busy when others of you were runners.  I did not make it to many of your events.  In Jacob's case I can't bear to miss an event.  Perhaps it is because I know that I won't get the chance ever again to go to one of my children's sporting events.  And perhaps it's because I have a simpler life now and can make it to the events.  When I was a boy my parents didn't come to any of the track meets that I ran in or wrestling matches that I competed in.  And for you older children, I was the same.  I remember attending a couple of Cross Country meets for John and Jeannette.
   Initially, Jacob just wanted to beat his cousin, Duke.  He has a competitive streak.  But when I would prompt Jacob about taking first place, he responded that he just wanted to run for the fun of it. I told him that one day he would discover how much more fun it is to win.
   At the beginning of his Freshman year, Jacob ran with the JV team and took 2nd place in a race at Monett.  Jacob asked me if I thought that he should run on the varsity team.  I asked him what effect he thought that would have on the team.  He said that he would try harder trying to beat the older boys.  I asked how he thought the older boys would react to that.  He said that they would run harder trying not to be beaten by the Freshman.  I said, "I guess that you aught to run varsity, then."
   During the last two years Jacob has begun to see his potential.  This coming year will be different in that the older boys that he was trying to beat will almost all be graduated.  Now there will be younger runners who are trying to beat him.  There are a couple of fine younger runners that will make next year very interesting.
   I have had a constant desire to push Jacob to do more and to develop faster.  I have tried to calm that desire, though I'm not very effective at that.  I think that kids have to participate for their own reasons.  I know that one of Jacob's reasons is that he wants to please his dad.  But I don't want that to be "the" reason.  I haven't had to pressure Jake to do better.  But I do help him keep his focus and give him positive encouragement.
   Enjoy your children as much as you can.  Don't think that you will get a chance to do it later.  Mom and I are lucky to have a second chance at parenting.  You got a younger, more energetic set of parents, but parents who were inexperienced and who made plenty of parenting mistakes.  Jacob has older parents who are tired and worn out, but who are more experienced.  Each of you is a treasure, a pearl of great price for whom Mom and I would pay everything to have.  We have paid everything we have.  You are our only treasure and our only legacy.  We count ourselves rich beyond measure because we have children who are raising their children in the gospel.  Out of my posterity the Lord will raise up great mothers and fathers in Zion.  The harvest will be immeasurable.

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