Sam

Then my mother was pregnant with Sam she felt that something was wrong.  The family held a special fast for her.  It was the first time I remember really putting my heart into fasting.  If I remember rightly, I fasted for two days.  Not just one.  After Sacrament meeting I was very weak and nauseous and hurried home to get something to eat.
   Dad gathered the family in the living room and he gave my mother a priesthood blessing.  As he expressed it, during the blessing he felt energy flow through him into Mother.  At the end of the blessing he sat down exhausted.
   When Sam was born, the cord was wound around his neck four times.  In the delivery process the cord was pulled tight, cutting off blood flow to the baby's head.  Sam's head was almost black when he was born and the doctors warned my parents that he might not live--and if he did live he might have serious mental issues due to asphyxiation related brain damage.
   Sam was always a very cheerful baby and a cheerful boy growing up.  Like a puppy he followed Howard everywhere and into every situation.  He grew much faster than Howard and by the time Howard was four, Sam equaled him in size--and then surpassed him.  The two boys were dubbed the "village idiots" because they got into so much stupid trouble.
   Babies experience the world first through taste.  They want to taste everything.  Putting something in your mouth will tell you its flavor, its texture, its sugar content...so many critical things.  Our mother never used disposable diapers.  We always had a diaper bucket in the bathroom that smelled to high heaven.  And little-uns often waddled the house in a droopy diaper needing a change.   On one occasion, Sam was waddling the living room, and a little round turd ball rolled out of his drawers and onto the carpet.  He stopped, looked at it, picked it put, and then gave it a taste.  Here we are fifty years later and I can't get the image out of my head.  And I can't stop laughing.  Life with Sam was that good.
   In the room that we shared--before Dad built the triple bunk--the lights from the parking lot of the 22nd Ward Chapel would shine through the window and make eerie shadows on the wall.  These images were especially spooky when the humidity cause condensation on the window and I could draw in the window dew odd looking faces.
   One evening (this effect was only good at night) I decided to show Sam the shadow art I had created.  So I took him into the room and turned out the lights.  Sam was about five years old.  When he saw the creepy faces in shadows on the the wall he was terrified and gripped him shoulder and buried his face in my shirt.  Of course, I tried to explain that there was nothing to be afraid of.  I would go up to the ghostly images on the wall and touch them to show him that they were nothing to be afraid of, but this only increased his panic.
   When I took his hand to touch it to the images on the wall, he defended himself in the only way a five year old could--or perhaps, he was just so terrified that he could do nothing else.  He bit me on the neck--just about as hard has he could.  I guess, I got what I deserved.
   Sam was always super sensitive to scary things.  We were at our grandparents' home in Orem and some "B" horror film was on the TV.  A man had discovered a formula that would cause things to devolve--reverse evolution.  So, when the man took the formula himself he turned into a Neanderthal.  Sam was horrified, and we had to leave.  I was not happy that I didn't get to see the ending.
    Sam was dear to me.  When I was about twelve I had a terrible dream in which Sam was drowning in the bath tub.  I ran in to the bathroom to save him, but when I reached to pick him up he wilted in my arms.  Of course, I was shocked out of the dream.  It shook me up considerably.
    When Sam turned eight, my father asked if I would baptize him.  I tried to involve my boys as much as I could, in the ordinances for younger siblings.  It was a blessing to me, a sixteen year old boy, to prepare spiritually to baptize his little brother.  
   When I left on my mission, I left at home a cheap stereo system that I had bought with money earned growing tomatoes at a hydroponics plant my grandfather had invested in.  It was a symbol of my independence that I could play my own music in my bedroom.  My younger siblings were jealous, I think.  I remember getting updates from Sam while I was on my mission, telling me that he would be the guardian of my stereo in my absence, that he would protect it from the evil siblings (Lillian) who were trying to take it over.   I can't remember what shape the stereo was in when I got home from Finland, but it didn't matter.  Eight Track was dead and the record player was soon to be a thing of the past as well.
   I remember taking Howard and Sam to the Pioneer Drive-in Theater shortly after my return from my mission.  I wanted to see The Little Big Man staring Dustin Hoffman, and Soldier Blue.  On the other screen was showing Gus, a movie about a talking donkey who could kick field goals, staring Don Knots.  I didn't have to worry about my little brothers watching the PG-13 scenes in either movie because they were watching Gus through the pick-up's rear window.
   After his mission, Sam attended Snow College in Ephraim, Ut. while living with Uncle Joe in Spring City.  It was there that he met a Japanese foreign exchange student, Miyuki.  When Sam taught her the gospel, or at least was part of the process.  When Sam told my father that he was planning to marry Miyuki, Dad about had seven kittens (to use an Owen Bennionism).  Dad had been enlisted toward the end of WWII and was preparing to ship out to Japan when the war ended.  He never saw conflict.  But his head had been filled with the war propaganda that makes killing an enemy easier to do.  Dad had lost a beloved uncle, Melvyn S. Bennion, to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.  He told Sam all kinds of foul things to try to persuade him not to do this.  But, to no avail.  I'm certain that Dad was trying to prevent Sam from making a mistake, but in reality, Dad was facing his racist demons--demons that he didn't know he had.
   Finally, Dad attended a Stake Conference where Marvin J. Ashton was a visiting apostle.  Following the meeting, Dad approached Elder Ashton and asked him if there were some scriptures that he could show Sam to convince him not to enter into this mixed race marriage.  Elder Ashton put his arm around Dad's shoulder and very gently said, "Brother Bennion, aren't you being just a little prejudiced?"  My dad came face-to-face with his paradigm and was skillfully led to see it for what it was.  He wen't home and repented.
   Among other things, Dad had told Sam that children of mixed Asian/American parents were often ugly in appearance.  Dad was not alone in this feeling.  It was often a topic when discussing the mixed race children left behind by American service men who fought in Vietnam.  Dad would soon be spending time with his beautiful Amerasian grandchildren, who are wonderful in intelligence, in behavior, and in appearance.  (The boys tend to be a little squirrelly when they are young--that's a Bennion thing.)
   Sam and Miyuki spent about ten years in Japan where Sam taught English.  (Sam is now trilingual: English, Spanish, and Japanese.)  While there Sam served as Bishop--a difficult assignment for someone learning Japanese as a second language.  Sam's four oldest were born in Japan: Angus, George, Owen, and Anne.
   Sam visited us once or twice when we lived in Scott City.  George was a three year old who knew almost no English.  I had a singular experience on that occasion, and learned something that I had pondered over for years.
   Sam and I stayed up late--probably past 2:00 a.m. taking in the yard.  I noticed that the sky was beginning to grow light, and I wondered that Sam and I had talked the whole night through.  Then I noticed that the sky was growing light in the West, no the East.  I looked to the eastern horizon to see what might be happening there.  The sky was a deep red, almost magenta.  And then it dawned on my (pun intended).  We were witnessing the aurora borealis--the northern lights.  This display was huge given the latitude at which we were seeing it, and the magnitude of the display.  The NPR news mentioned it the next day and I got an e-mail from Uncle Joe telling that he had seen it.
   What I learned was that the Book of Mormon record of a day, a night, and a day with no darkness was not caused by the bright star, but by super sunspot activity that lit up the atmosphere like a neon light.  I'm not saying that there wasn't a star, but I am saying that a star that could light up the entire sky was highly questionable, but that an auroral effect from a tremendous burst from the sun could cause a one night phenomenon as recorded in 3rd Nephi.
   Sam is generous to a fault, and thinks of others even in difficult situations.  He was in a traffic situation that could have caused damage to Miyuki when she was pregnant with Sheen.  At the moment, Sam was very upset with the driver of the other car.  But when his initial emotions cooled, he could only think that he should have asked if the other driver (who was at fault) was OK.
   Sam has been very kind to me.  I took on considerable debt to get my masters degree.  I went for the degree because we were drowning in debt on teacher salary.  We could not make things work, and we would have very soon bankrupt.  On administrative pay we were poised to balance our finances and get out of dept.  And then the cancer hit.  We fought that for two years and then it became obvious to me that I could not continue as a principal.  We would have to go back to teaching, but now with the added debt of student loans.
   The first time I realized that we would have to leave Western Kansas came when I drove Mom to the airport and she flew off to North Carolina when Finn (I think) was born.  On the drive home from the airport, Jacob and I stopped at the Walmart in Great Bend.  When we came out from he store, the PT Cruiser would not start.  Someone gave us a jump, and we made it home.  The next day the car would also not start.  There we were in the middle of nowhere, Kansas, an hour and a half drive from the church, and no where near family.  We were alone and I felt a sense of panic.  A neighbor helped us get a new battery and I got the car running again, but I realized that we were in a bad spot with no support system.
   Then I had a dream that we were living in my mother's home in Missouri, and I realized that we needed to move in that direction.  Mom and I hadn't thought that we would ever do this.  On our honeymoon we had visited the area and had declared it "too hot, too humid, and too bug infested" for human life.  Grandma and Grandpa Brown reminded us that we had at one time said that we never intended to move to Missouri.  But, now our need was great.
    When I told Sam what I was feeling and our predicament, without hesitation he offered us his former home, lovingly nick named "The Shed."  He told me that since he was living in our parents' home without cost, he could not feel good charging us to live in his old place.  With no rent to pay, and with the low utility cost of the shed, we have been able to avoid bankruptcy.  And we are beginning to make small gains on towards getting out of dept.  This would not have happened without Sam's generosity.
   I told Sam that we would never make claim on the property, though we might live her long enough to claim squatters' rights.  We will never do that.  Any improvements we make on the property we will consider to be rental payment for our time spent here.  Sam does not expect that he children will ever need to want to occupy the shed, but if they were ever to do so, Mom and I would vacate.
   The shed had been unoccupied for a couple of years, though Sam's family used it for steam baths and for YMYW parties.  Mom spent her first summer here cleaning and banishing the mold from the place.  John helped us repair the shower.  We have restored the place to livable conditions and Mother has given it a touch of home.  We are beyond blessed to be here.
   Sam serves faithfully in the church and is an example of doing it right.
   Sam shares much of my sentiment where politics are concerned, which is a blessing.  As you know, I feel like I have to defend my position, which is unusual in LDS circles.  But I don't have to defend myself with Sam.  He and I see things much the same.
   Sam and I had a rough turn on one occasion.  He had a shipping container (the very large size that ride on railway flat cars) delivered.  We were using one of his vans to move it into his desired position.  At one sticky point he wanted me to do one thing, and I could not see the the wisdom in what he wanted.  He has the habit of barking orders that he expects to be carried out without explanation.  He learned this habit from my father.  So, in the middle of the move, he began barking orders to me, in very much the voice of my father.  We talked about this afterward.  Luckily, this was a one time thing.  It is not in Sam's nature to be anything but kind and mellow.  But, there is a touch of our father's austerity in him, as in me too.
   I don't mean to portray my father as overly austere.  He was a kind and gentle man...when he wasn't trying to correct his children.  For some reason, I was always the one he felt to correct.  And you can all witness that I can't stand correction.  Let me be right, and let the Wookie win.

Howard

My early memories of Howard are of him learning to walk.  With so many older siblings, he had plenty of opportunities to try.  He was very unsure of himself, and though he could stand, he wouldn't take the steps without someone to hold his hand.  So, we tricked him.  We got a short stick--maybe 10 to 12 inches long--and had him hold the stick infant of him with one hand on each end.  One of us would hold the stick in the middle.  As he took a step of two, then we would let go of the middle.  With the stick held out in front of him, he would walk.
   Howard was two years older than Sam, but smaller.  So, Howard always needed to assert his superiority.  Sam was a loyal and faithful puppy who was always just happy to be included.  My younger siblings seemed to come in pairs: Eileen and Lil, Howard and Sam, Lucy and Jonny.  So, many of my memories of Howard are tied up with Sam.   We shared a bedroom for much of our childhood.  I remember trying to sleep with two little boys in the room who were in no way ready for sleep.  Even with the lights out, the boys wouldn't settle down.  I'm sure that I barked at them a few times.  Eventually Mom or Dad came in and gave the boys what for, and then I was able to get some shut eye.
   Not long after that, Dad built a triple bunk bed.  Sam and Howard shared the bottom bunk, about a foot off of the floor.  Joe had the middle bunk, about four feet off the floor, and I had the top bunk, about three feet from the ceiling.
   Howard had a few more wild oats to sow that Sam.  He hung out with Mark Donaldson (whom he nicknamed "Uckun") and a kid named Stireman.  The City of Orem and just built a new high school, Mountain View.  (The students wanted to name it "Rocky Mountain High" but the admin wouldn't go for that--I don't know why.)  On the night of the new school's first prom, Howard and his buddies decided to moon the prom.  Sam was brought along, who knows why.  At midnight, as the prom let out and kids were defending the school steps to their cars in the parking lot, the boys sped into the parking lot, which was still just gravel.  The black top and not yet been laid.  Howard was mooning from right side of the truck and Sam from the left.  Marco from the passenger window.  The practice in Orem was to have a patrol car visit the parking lot at the time of dance dismissals.  The boys, who weren't into the "dance" thing, hadn't thought of this.  When Stireman saw the cops, he panicked and pulled a hard U-turn to exit the parking lot.  Sam was thrown into the truck.  Howard was thrown out.  With one hand holding the side of the truck, his bare buttocks skipped along the gravel.  The ER doctor removed a good handful of it.  The arresting officer said that he'd never seen so much moonshine in the back of a pick-up before.
   Howard had a wonderful Young Men's president who kept him interested and active in church activities, and when the time came Howard served a mission in Virginia.  After his mission, Howard went to California to work in structural steel with our cousin, Scott Bennion.  Howard started as a grunt hauling rebar.  Eventually he was running the crew.  Not long after that he learned how to run the company.
   On a couple of occasions Howard visited us in Pleasant Grove.  On one occasion we went for a picnic up Provo Canyon.  I think we have that in a home movie.  Howard told me that he was learning how to use a CAD program to create plans for structural steel projects.  Although he never wen't to college, Howard never stopped learning his trade.  Eventually, he would be hired by Pacific Coast Steel as a Chief Financial Officer responsible for bidding major projects.
   So, Howard has not struggled for money like many of the rest of us have.  He was in a position, at the passing of our father, to build a home for Mother, connected to Lucy's home, where Mother lived out her days under the care of a loving daughter.  In the bargain, Lucy's  home was renovated, and the home built for mother became Lucy's in recompense for the personal care Lucy gave that allowed Mother to stay at home.
   Howard is now retired from the steel business, but I'm not sure what he does with the extra time.  I see him with a Scout group, and doing other recreational things with his boys.
  Of my siblings, he is the only one not declared "of Ephraim" by a patriarch.  His place in gospel lineage is in the tribe of Manasseh.  I am not sure of the significance of that.  Only I can say that it will not mean he will not be part of the family in the next life.  

Lillian

I have some memories of Lillian as a baby learning to walk, etc.  She has the lightest skin of my siblings which means that she also had the most freckles.  She always got sun burns, and sometimes these were so bad as to develop into huge blisters.  Ouch!
   We lived next door to Uncle George and Aunt Joy.  Their youngest child, Alan, was close to Lillian in age and they spent a lot of time together.  Alan was a mischievous child, and Lillian was often involved in the mischief.  I don't remember any particular stories, but I'm sure she could tell you some.  Alan went off the deep end following his mission.  The last time I saw him, we were living in Pleasant Grove and he stopped by to visit for the night.  He was suffering from drug addiction which to my knowledge has not changed, but then I haven't had any updates on Alan in over twenty years.
   Lillian is a gifted reading.  As a child, and as a young adult she read, read, read.  I remember Mom having to scold her to put the book down and finish her chores--on a regular basis.
   I remember Lill being along on many of the fishing and camping trips we took as a family.
   Lill had a reputation for a negative attitude as a child and was nicknamed, "Poison Lill."  I don't remember the negativity , perhaps because I saw her differently.  I was never the one who had to scold her for anything.  When I returned from my mission, Lill was a grown young woman--very beautiful and intelligent.  She was attending BYU and working in the Harold B Lee Library where she met your Uncle Doug.  At one time my father had worried about Lillian's bookish behavior and warned her that if she spent too much time in her studies she wouldn't be attractive to a man.  This, of course, is a very old prejudice of my father's time.  Lill did just fine.
   Uncle Doug helped me get a job at the Prove Temple Laundry where he was working.  It paid better than most student jobs, so it was a blessing to us.  Plus, I could attend classes in the mornings and early afternoons, and then work at the Temple until 10:00 p.m.  Doug and I didn't work the same shift often, but from time to time.
   Doug continued his work at the temple, eventually becoming Temple Recorder, which he had done at a hand full of temples now.  The Church is one of the best employers you could have.  When I compare how the Church treats employees and how other professions do the same, there are few who measure up.
   Mother and I sometimes would babysit for Doug and Lill.  I must say that I never minded changing my own children's messing diapers, but your cousin Seth and the diapers of death.  (Don't tell him I said that.)  Seth is one of the most gracious people you will ever know.
   Lill and I have taken very different paths politically.  Lill is stanch in whatever she does, and that is also her politics.  So, of late we have had some difficulties on that score.  As you know, I don't buy into the rumors and innuendoes about Hilary Clinton having murdered everyone who had dirt on her. I have more faith in our justice system.  I do not claim that Hilary was an innocent candidate.  She did plenty of wrong headed things as a candidate.  But the rumors are false.  Lill, on the other hand, believes the rumors, and decided that it would be a good thing to bring one of them up in the middle of a card game at a recent family reunion in Utah.  At the time I had been feeling particular angst over the spreading of fake news, so I called her on it with a simple, "BS."  She didn't like that one little bit.  I could see that this would go south in a hurry, and I got up to leave the room and repeated my "BS" as I did so.  She continued with a deepening rant, so I shouted, "Bull S***" as I left the cabin.
   I did the right thing in leaving when the discussion turned political.  I wish I could have done that and not resorted to shouting and profanity.  Though I still feel that Lill's remarks had no place at a family reunion card game, I must admit that my display of temper also had no place there.  I will forever be remembered by many of your cousins once removed (my great nieces and nephews) as the foul mouthed, angry uncle.  I sat outside the cabin with my head in my hands.  Uncle Doug approached and I apologized and asked him to share that with Lill.  At the time I thought it would be unwise for me to speak to her directly.  It was a long time before I felt comfortable around her.
   Word to the wise: school your tongues.  Teach yourself to remove from a situation rather than loose your angry tongue.  I don't know if Lill and I can learn to respectfully disagree on politics, but I can say that I learned that politics don't matter where siblings are concerned.  Don't let things come between you.  Family is the place where we prepare for Celestial glory, and that requires learning to love rather than to become a vessel of wrath.

Eileen

   I don't have as many memories of my younger siblings as I do my older siblings.  I suppose that is because I associated myself more with the older group.  The family was divided into two: the big kids and the little kids. 
   My memories of Eileen as a child are mostly from home movies my parents shot.  I remember Eileen waddling about the back yard at Lakewood Dr. on an Easter Egg hunt.  I remember Eileen looking up the chimney to see if Santa were coming.  Both of these memories come from the home movies. 
   Eileen was always goofy and fun, as some of you have mentioned.  She always saw humor in things.  She memorized lines from movies like The Black Cauldron.  Gurgey was her favorite, and her favorite quote was, "Why am I always being blamed for these things," which she would repeat in Gurgey's voice. 
   Mother bought a record of The Muppets of Brementown, which we played over and over and over.  My younger siblings and I often offer quotes from that production in appropriate situations.  You can probably find the video on You Tube. 
   Radio drama was something else that I would have shared with Eileen and my younger siblings.  I can't remember if it was KLS radio or NPR but one of these would nightly play radio drama of scary stories.  We would gather around the radio and listen.  For most of my later teens we had no television.
   Having no TV meant that each of us younger kids made friends in the neighborhood to whose houses we would go to get our TV fixes.  I'm not sure whose home Eileen would go to.
  When I returned home from my mission Eileen was a young woman, prettier than I had ever remembered.  She soon met, dated, and married John Bingner.  John and I worked together at SILO for a while.  He was a very talented salesman and has made his living in that profession since.  For sometime he managed a clothing store at the University Mall.
   When their oldest daughter was in diapers they used to come to our place so that she and Adam could play together.  I think that your mother and I were living in my grandfather's home in Orem at the time.
   It wasn't long before Eileen and John moved to Oregon, John's home state, and fell off of my radar.  I have never been good at keeping touch with my siblings via phone or letter.
   Eileen's oldest daughter, Crystal Lynn, earned a poor reputation in the church culture, and the bishop told his children not to play with her.  This had the unfortunate effect of widening the gap between Crystal and the church.  This is a sad story that can be told again and again and again.  I sometimes warned you children about certain characters, but rarely told you not to associate with one of them.  I did often remind you to be the leader and not the follower, to the the influencer for good, and not the influencee in bad.  It is a scary stance to take, but I don't regret it.  Be careful to maintain your friendships with your children.  Children are more influenced by their friends than their parents--because parents are so often aloof from their children's lives.  Stay close.  Do fun stuff together.
   For the past few decades my only contact with Eileen has been at family reunions, to which she always wanted to come.  John did not come very often, not because he wasn't welcome, but probably because getting off work in the sales profession is costly and not look on pleasantly by management.  Eileen was close with her sisters.  They often put on crazy skits at reunions.  One of my favorites was called, "The Fat Came Back," a parody of "The Cat Came Back."  My siblings all have struggled with excess weight, so the parody was pertinent--and very funny.  Three of my heavy sisters dancing and singing this song is a wonderful memory.
   Eileen has suffered some terrible health issues and currently is suffering from problems including dementia.  She doesn't respond much when called on the phone, and is taken care of by ward members who take turns.  Eileen's youngest son, Joseph, has spent much of his childhood caring for his mother.
   Daniel Bingner served a mission and is married in the temple.  Caroline Bingner has fallen off of my radar.  I used to see her often on Facebook, but not recently. 
   I love my little sister dearly, though we have not been close.  I expect she will be the first of my siblings to pass away, but you never know about these things.  Stay close to each other.  Use Facebook.  Take lots of pictures and post them often.  Don't let worries about recent social media tampering worry you to the point of withdrawing.  All of you are intelligent enough that the media tampering will not influence you much.  And if you are worried, block political stuff, but don't drop off the map.