I don't remember ever making the first and most important decision, but I suppose that at some time I made the decision to be a follower of righteousness. There were plenty of things in my young life that were out of sink with that decision, but every time the disparity between my actions and this choice became evident, I chose righteousness--repentance--and put my actions in line with my beliefs. But there never was a time when I sat down and considered the choice. Abraham says that he saw the happiness that there was to be had and because of that, chose to be a follower of righteousness. I do believe that my pre-mortal choices play a part in this, and perhaps that why I can't remember when I made the choice. I can't say that it was just in my nature to follow my parents' lead; I did plenty of rebelling.
I can't remember a time when I didn't have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This was not a choice. The testimony was given to me by my parents. I have had thoughts that could be said to be doubts, but these thoughts were never strong. I suppose it could be said that I chose to do the things that would strengthen my testimony: read the scriptures, study the gospel (independent of the normal Church institutions and auxiliaries), seek God in prayer, etc.
I did make the conscious decision to receive my patriarchal blessing at age 15. I had been taught about these blessings, but it wasn't at the urging of my parents or my teachers that I sought my patriarchal blessing. I felt a deep need for it, a hunger. I was shy about talking to my parents about spiritual matters--I don't know why--so it took a lot of inner struggle to get up the nerve to ask my mother how I would go about getting it. That is the first real decision relative to the gospel that I can remember making. I got the blessing because I wanted it. It has proven to be incredibly important throughout my life and is still playing a lead role in decisions that I make today.
I decided at a young age that I would serve a mission. As a boy I always expected that I would do this. My brother Joe set the example as had my father and his father before. I never doubted that I would serve a mission, nor did I ever struggle with the decision. My patriarchal blessing indicated that I would serve a mission. There was a time in my high school years when serving a mission came into question. A girl that was in a serious relationship with me suggested that I should give up the idea of a mission. I couldn't think of that and she eventually broke up with me. I often think what a protection it was to me that I had the decision to serve a mission firmly in place. It has made a powerful difference in my life.
I wanted to marry someone who had a desire to follow the Savior. So, following my mission, this was the key thing that I looked for when I became interested in any young lady. When I first became interested in your mother we sat in a parking lot near the Wilkinson Center following a fireside and I asked Mother about her dedication to follow the Savior. She gave the right answers. It was shortly after this that the Spirit began prompting me to ask her to marry me. I hadn't yet "fallen in love" with her and told the Lord that if he wanted me to ask her to marry me that he would need to help with that first. Within two weeks I fell hard and wouldn't let go. It is interesting to me that my first criterion was that she have a desire to follow the Savior--not just a testimony of Him. Falling in love was critical, but came second.
I guess you could say that these are three decisions, but I will include one more. Your mother and I decided that we would have children and that we would not wait to have them although we were encouraged by family and by doctors that we should wait. It would have been financially better for us to wait. But money has never been our reason for doing anything--hence we have no money. But we do have beautiful, talented, and righteous children. I would not change the decision to have any of you. I am glad that we didn't wait until we could better afford children. I'm glad that we didn't wait until we were sure that our marriage would work. (Mom and I are both strong willed and stubborn so there have been times that we have butted heads, but each of us is more dedicated to the marriage than we are to ourselves. There has never really been a time that the marriage wasn't going to make it. But modern philosophy considers this a good reason to postpone children.) We didn't postpone children so that we could travel and do things together. What we wanted most was you. We couldn't wait to hold you, to see you grow, to go camping and hiking together. Life has given Mother and me exactly what we asked for: you. And now we are getting the great bonus of grandchildren.
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