Your mother was my sister Lilian's roommate at BYU. When I had nothing going on I would stop by Aunt Lillian's apartment to visit. Six girls lived together, so I had five to pick from. They were all very sweet, and one had been my next door neighbor (and my best friend's sister) growing up. That was Terri Donaldson. I was first attracted to mother because she was so good looking. I went with the roommates to a movie at the old Sceara theater, and I went with the roommates to devotionals at BYU. Your mother was on crutches at the time due to a followup surgery on her bad knee. She took full advantage and took my arm for support up stairs etc. I don't remember the first actual date that Mom and I went on, but there were a couple of important ones. I had decided that the deal maker/breaker for me in a spouse was her relationship with the Savior. Perhaps it was because we went to BYU devotionals together, but Mother's testimony was evident to me. Something else was at play as well, that I didn't understand at the time. Mother's disabilities meant that she would rely on my for many things. She would need me. I needed someone who would need me. It made me feel important--it filled a great need of mine. At the time Mother used to complain that she had no talents: she couldn't sing (like she did before the accident), she couldn't dance, she couldn't do a lot of things. At the time Mother couldn't run, and really couldn't walk a straight line. Anyway, it was after one of these devotionals held at the top of the Wilkinson building that Mom and sat in my car discussing this, that, and the other, that I first felt the prompting that I should ask her to marry me. I wanted to wait until Valentine's Day and make it a real special occasion, so I kept the idea to myself for a while. Mother asked me if I would be her escort at a special dance put on by the dorm, Bowen Hall, I think. I was away selling Living Scriptures tapes at the time, but said that I would come. I bought a plane ticket so that I could be there, but the flight was delayed, and since the cell phone had not yet been invented I didn't have a way to get ahold of Mom to let her know. I raced from the SLC airport to BYU but was too late. Mom was not about to forgive me, though in reality I had tried as hard as I could to be there. On another occasion I invited Mom to go with me on a tubing party that her Stake had organized up Provo Canyon. But when I came to pick Mom up, she had already gone up the canyon with someone else. So I drove up the canyon only to find Mom coming down the hill on an inner tube in the lap of this guy she had driven up with. Needless to say, I was not very happy. In the lodge was a pool table, and I took out my frustration playing billiards. Then there was a talent show and I played Neil Young's song, "Heart of Gold." So Mom and I seemed to be patching things up after that, until it was time to head home and she drove home with this other guy. I was ready to call the whole thing off at that point, and on the following day, Sunday, I visited with her with the intention of telling her that I considered the engagement broken. She told me about her train accident and the young man who was on his mission when it happened. When he came home, he went out with Mom one time and that was it. Of course, at that time (very shortly after the train accident) Mom was not the person you know. The accident had taken her ability to walk without a cane, her speech was very slurred--everything was messed up at that point. The young man couldn't handle the changes and sort of abandoned the relationship. Mom was very broken up by this, and I had the impression (whether true or not) that Mom had sabotaged our relationship that night because she didn't believe that someone could or would actually love her and subconsciously she preferred to break the relationship than to be abandoned again. Two weeks before this date, I had been praying about what I should do. I felt a prompting to ask Mom to marry me, but although I thought Mom was the best looking thing I had ever seen, I didn't feel strongly about her. I was not in love, and I told the Lord that I couldn't marry her until I did love her--with that kind of love that is deep and abiding. Well, after the snow party fiasco, Mom was talking to me about her accident and about her old boyfriend, the one who dumped her when he returned from his mission, I began to feel how deeply Mom needed someone who would be kind, gentle, and patient. And as I began to feel that she needed me, that deep and abiding feeling of love came over me and I forgave her the snow party fiasco.
In late January, 1980, Mom and I had a fairly passionate kissing spell on the love seat at her apartment. Mom started to cry because she thought that I would think ill of her because of this and that I wouldn't think of asking a girl who kissed like that to marry. (It was a safe kiss, by the way.) But as Mom was feeling so low, and because I had already decided that I would ask her I said, "Let's go for a drive." Somewhere on I-15 I told Mom that I had already decided to ask her to marry me and made the proposal official. She was very excited and couldn't wait to call home and tell her mom and dad.
Partly because I never felt comfortable around Grandma and Grandpa Brown, and partly because Mom had already told her parents that we had decided to get married, I didn't ask Grandpa Brown for his permission to marry his daughter. I wish that I had, but I was young and didn't understand the importance of the thing.
We set our plans to get married at the end of May, 1981. This was also a very exciting time for BYU who won their first ever bowl game with a miraculous come from behind victory in December, and then during the NCAA Basketball playoffs, Danny Ainge led the Cougars to victory over Noter Dame with an amazing cost-to-cost last second play to win the game. BYU campus erupted with excitement that night.
Sometime that Spring Mom had gone home. Under Grandma's influence she started having doubts about marrying me. Grandma told her (and it has held true), "If you marry that Bennion boy, you'll be poor all your life." So Mom called me to call off the engagement. I immediately got in my car and drove to Soda Springs. Things were looking pretty grim. That night I stayed in Uncle Royce's old room in the basement. I didn't sleep, but paced the floor praying for Heavenly Father's help. I was ready to pray all night if necessary, but somewhere in the early morning hours--maybe one o'clock or two--I changed what I was praying for. I had a moment in which the Spirit taught me, and instead of asking that Jodi would overcome her doubts and marry me, I began to pray that if I would be a good husband for Jodi, would Heavenly Father please help me make it happen. Very shortly after this change in my prayer there came a knock at the door. Mother was there and told me that she had a strong feeling to go ahead with the wedding plans.
We were married in an upper room at the Idaho Falls Temple--the same room that Emily would be married in years later. On that occasion Aunt Katherine told me later that she felt a powerful spirit enter the room and she received the understanding that it was our brother, Matthew, who had died two days after his birth.
OK, this isn't really as sequential as it should be, but it contains the important things that I remember.
Love this!!!
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