Mom and I waited a while to try and have a second child. I was attending school and we were living at Y-Mount Terrace--BYU's married student housing. I was working at the Provo Temple laundry. One Sunday evening Mom and I attended a fireside put on by the Stake. The 1st Councilor in the Stake Presidency was Dr. Peterson, who had been my doctor in my childhood. The gist of the meeting was that young couples should not put off starting a family. It was an open question and answer meeting. I don't remember any of the other questions that were asked, but I asked if a couple was justified in delaying having another baby if they knew that they could not afford to have another child at the time. I knew from our experience with Adam, that even with insurance, deductibles and copays would cost us over $5000. We were not likely to have that kind of money anytime soon. We were already strapped as poor college students getting by on one minimum wage income. Even if we had two minimum wage incomes, it would have been hard to imagine having that kind of money. So, I felt justified in asking the question. Dr. Peterson's answer was simple: "Perhaps you just need more faith." It was a stunning response. Dr. Peterson knew my family. He had delivered half of my siblings. He knew that my parents had 12 children on my father's school teacher, single wage earner income. The moment reminded me of my father's council: "Have all of the children that you can, and always pay your tithing, and everything will work out." That's not quite the Dave Ramsey approach. But, mother and I decided to have a second child based on that fireside.
Mother and I have always paid a full tithe, though quite often we had to scrape hard to get it all paid at the end of the year. I was in the bad habit of writing my tithing checks and then holding them in my wallet until we could afford for them to clear. This is a bad practice and we were often having money trouble because of it. During the good times, and they have not been many, I had no trouble coming up with any lagging tithing at the end of the year. The Lord has blessed us more greatly than we deserve and we have never had to go without much. But we knew what it was like to not be able to drive to visit family because our car might not make the journey.
I dropped out of school with the intention of making money to catch up on our debts, before finish up my college. I was working at the Temple, and working at Burger King. We had moved back into the 4-plexes that my grandfather owned. Back then I had the attitude that if I just worked harder, or worked more we would get ahead. Luckily Mother was always supportive and faithful to me. I needed to work smarter. Mom had a friend who was selling electronics and appliances at SILO. RCWilley hadn't yet moved to Orem. When I learned that Mom's friend, Denise Farnsworth, was earning over $16,000 a year as a salesperson, I went in and applied. I had experience in door-to-door sales, and had some retail experience, and I believed that I could do this.
The store manager (Denise told me later) threw my application in the trash and made excuses that I would have to see the District Manager in Salt Lake. I was persistent. But the manager called Salt Lake and told them he didn't want me hired. (I also learned this from Denise.) Salt Lake told me that my application had been lost and that I would need to fill out a new one. So I did. I just so happened that the Salt Lake District manager was promoted to a position in Oregon, and a new district manager came in from back East. He didn't know that the Orem manager didn't want me hired, and he took me on the spot. I studied electronics inside and out, and purchased a couple of electronics magazines. I studied everything I could about selling.
I vividly remember my first day on the sales floor. I was terrified. But I survived, and though my sales volume wasn't high, I could do one thing that earned me a chance with the store manager--I could sell extended warranties. Eventually I became familiar with the products that we had for sale and was one of the best salesmen at SILO earning Salesman of the Month on a few occasions.
What does all of this have to do with John? Well, it was the income from this job that actually helped us to afford to have another child. At this time Grandpa and Grandma Brown were still purchasing health insurance for Mother through Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Idaho. I also picked up insurance through my work. The double coverage meant that we were able to have John without the huge out of pocket as with Adam. Dr. Peterson's injunction to have more faith was vindicated and we were blessed for following it. An added blessing was that shortly after having John we were able to get into our home in Pleasant Grove.
John was born in November, just before Thanksgiving. This is about the busiest time of year for electronics sales. So I was putting in a lot of time at work. It is a time when salespeople do not ask for time off. Grandma Brown had come down to get Mom to the hospital. She had been having labor and didn't recognize it as such. So John was not a scheduled, but an emergency C-section. I got the call at work, went to the back room and collected my things, and headed for the door. The store manager stopped me and asked, "Where do you think you're going?" to which I responded, "To the hospital." Denise or someone else reminded the boss that Mother was having a baby.
John was born at the Orem Hospital on a Wednesday. Mom's stays after child birth have always been five days due to the recovery time from C-Section. I was able to be with Mom the following day, being Thanksgiving and SILO was closed. Mother still complains of the Thanksgiving on which she only got to eat chicken broth. I ate well because Mom had been in the middle of cooking when she realize that she was having labor pain. Grandma was there helping Mom with the dinner. So I got Turkey with all the trimmings. We weren't tempted in the slightest to name John, "Tom."
The next day was Black Friday, the crazy sales day, and I didn't miss that, or the Saturday that followed. I think we brought John home from the hospital on Sunday, though it might have been Monday.
This was a good time in our lives. I was earning better money. I have two healthy kids. And, because I was in sales, I often had morning off at home. So we played a lot. We watched movies together a lot. And eventually we would play video games together a lot. But at this time we played in the snow. We went for hikes and bike rides. We gardened together. I never had weekends off, but Adam and John were not in school yet, so that didn't really get in the way of our fun. Parents don't have to have money to have a great time with little kids. Teens are another question, but we wouldn't have to mess with that for a few years yet.
I don't think we were in the Pleasant Grove home until after John was born. My memory seems to be that it would be the following March that things would start happening on that front. But life was good and Mom and I couldn't have been happier.
My memories of John as a little boy include him playing in the sandbox that I built in our back yard, him losing his drawers playing on the slip-n-slide that we made in the back yard, him sweeping the driveway with a big push broom and looking to see if anyone was paying attention to what a good job he was doing.
John struggled with reading in the early elementary grades. I had not had my teacher training yet, so I didn't know best how to help him. I felt that if I sat him down and helped him (forced him) to focus that he would learn just fine, but that was not the case. I probably did more harm than good. It wouldn't be until 8th Grade that John would take off as a reader. He might have taken off earlier than that, but...
For some reason John's age group in the Pleasant Grove Ward had a rough time in their teen years, and Satan tried to take our precious boy from us. John was spending time with boys who were into some unhealthy practices. When Mother and I felt the prompting to move to the mission field we went to the Temple to pray about it. One of my main concerns was that John and Jeannette both needed strong leaders in the church to help them. I was worried that the programs and auxiliaries of the Church would not be as strong as our children would need. So I asked the Lord about that and received an assurance that if I would do as the Lord asked, we would not lose our children. The Lord made good on that promise. In many respects I think that being in the mission field helped our children gain stronger testimonies of the gospel. I know that obeying the promoting of the Spirit has made a great difference.
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Sunday, October 29, 2017
Sunday, October 22, 2017
What do you remember about when each of us was born? (Adam)
I think that I will need to make five installments for this question. There is too much to say about each one. Please don't measure each of these and try and suppose from that information which of you is most important. There is no such thing.
So, it's important to consider that due to Mom's train accident there was question whether or not she would even be able to have children. Her Neurologist told me that she would not, and that if she did she would not be able to care for her children. Grandma and Grandpa Brown encouraged Mom and me to wait three years to have children. I think they wanted to be sure that the marriage would last before Mom was strapped with children.
As I have already mentioned Mother's patriarchal blessing and mine both promise us the wonderful blessing of children. Mother's blessing is significant in that it was given after the train accident.
Grandma also set up an appointment for Mother and I to meet with Mom's bishop in Soda Springs and talk to him about having children. He told me that Mother would know when it was time for her to have children. We had no intention of waiting. We were eager to meet you all.
We lived in a four-plex in the Orem 12th Ward (southwest Orem), in an apartment owned by my Grandpa Wood. Mom and I were both attending classes at BYU and I was doing some selling for Living Scriptures. Close to this time I took a sales job at ZCMI (now defunct).
We had plenty of worries. Our income was very low, but so were our expenses. We were spending about $25 per week on groceries, but that was partly due to the fact that Grandma and Grandpa Brown would drop off groceries for us from time to time. There was a membership store like Costco in Provo, and Grandpa used to buy goods for his store in Soda from them. They would visit us and drop of a trunk load of things.
Mom's feet swelled up like balloons. Well, not that bad, but worse that with the other four children. Mom was a tiny thing at about 116 lbs before Adam, so she looked extra big with Adam. The only nudie picture I ever took of Mom was a polaroid profile of her standing in front of the bathroom mirror, pregnant to the moon, and screaming at me for taking the shot. We have since destroyed the picture so don't get your hopes up. But it still makes me laugh remembering it.
We were very worried about Mom's seizures, but Mom was very good about her pills and there was no trouble.
It was expensive to have children, even though we had insurance for Mom. Grandpa and Grandma Brown kept an Idaho Blue Cross and Blue Shield policy with I eventually took over. In these days Mom would have been able to stay on her parents health insurance for the first seven years of our marriage, but that was not the case back then. But even with really good insurance, it cost us $5000 in deductibles and copays to get Adam here. That was a crushing financial blow back then, but we shouldered it as best we could.
Adam was born at the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center, the same hospital I was born in. Mom's stay at the hospital was five days, due to having C-section delivery because the doctors didn't want to deal with Mother possibly having a seizure due to the trauma of labor. All went well, and I was soon holding this amazing little bundle. The first thing I checked for was eye color, which is very hard to tell in infants. I predicted "blue" and was proven right.
The fight over Adam's name soon began. I was not able to be with Mother 24/7 as I would have liked. I was there for the birth and then was busy with work. Mom and I had decided on Hyrum Adam Bennion. Grandma Brown was dead set against the name "Hyrum" for some reason. She told Mom that he would be teased in school, etc, etc. "Hi, Rummy!" I would convince Mom that Hyrum was fine and that Grandma would get over it, but each time Grandma would call back and talk Mom the other way.
I have always been stubborn and I wasn't about to let my mother-in-law name my first born. But after five exchanges, I could see that we were turning Mother into a punching bag for our contest of wills. So I relented for Mom's sake, but it took a lot of time to heal the wound.
The members of the Orem 12th Ward were very friendly and also helpful. One of them gave Mother $50 to help with our expenses. They knew how strapped we were and what a miracle it was that Mother was able to have children.
We moved a lot back in those days. After the 4-plex we moved to Y Mount Terrace--the Rabbit Hutches, so nicknamed for the reproductivity of the married student housing residents. This was a good move because I was taking classes at BYU and working in the Provo Temple laundry.
Mother and I were watching a movie one night and eating nachos with cheese dip. We were giving some of the chips to Adam, but being careful that he didn't get any of the jalapeños. But apparently not careful enough. Suddenly Adam began screaming in pain and slapping his right ear violently. We were horrified. What could possibly be wrong with our little boy? And then I realized that Adam must have gotten a bit of hot pepper lodged in the Eustachian tube. Once we realized that nothing serious was wrong, we laughed and laughed. Adam lived, and he still eats nachos with hot cheese sauce. Those were simpler days.
Adam's first word--well, first after "mama"--was "football." I used to watch BYU football on a TV Grandma and Grandpa Brown had given us--the same TV that Adam would destroy with a bread knife about five years later. I had a peewee football that Adam and I would toss back and forth to each other while we watched the game. So, he learned the word. I hear that BYU is 0-7 this year, but it's been too long since I watched a game.
I feel like I should tie this off with some amazing words of wisdom, but none are coming to me. I'll just say that Mom and I are very proud of our first born.
So, it's important to consider that due to Mom's train accident there was question whether or not she would even be able to have children. Her Neurologist told me that she would not, and that if she did she would not be able to care for her children. Grandma and Grandpa Brown encouraged Mom and me to wait three years to have children. I think they wanted to be sure that the marriage would last before Mom was strapped with children.
As I have already mentioned Mother's patriarchal blessing and mine both promise us the wonderful blessing of children. Mother's blessing is significant in that it was given after the train accident.
Grandma also set up an appointment for Mother and I to meet with Mom's bishop in Soda Springs and talk to him about having children. He told me that Mother would know when it was time for her to have children. We had no intention of waiting. We were eager to meet you all.
We lived in a four-plex in the Orem 12th Ward (southwest Orem), in an apartment owned by my Grandpa Wood. Mom and I were both attending classes at BYU and I was doing some selling for Living Scriptures. Close to this time I took a sales job at ZCMI (now defunct).
We had plenty of worries. Our income was very low, but so were our expenses. We were spending about $25 per week on groceries, but that was partly due to the fact that Grandma and Grandpa Brown would drop off groceries for us from time to time. There was a membership store like Costco in Provo, and Grandpa used to buy goods for his store in Soda from them. They would visit us and drop of a trunk load of things.
Mom's feet swelled up like balloons. Well, not that bad, but worse that with the other four children. Mom was a tiny thing at about 116 lbs before Adam, so she looked extra big with Adam. The only nudie picture I ever took of Mom was a polaroid profile of her standing in front of the bathroom mirror, pregnant to the moon, and screaming at me for taking the shot. We have since destroyed the picture so don't get your hopes up. But it still makes me laugh remembering it.
We were very worried about Mom's seizures, but Mom was very good about her pills and there was no trouble.
It was expensive to have children, even though we had insurance for Mom. Grandpa and Grandma Brown kept an Idaho Blue Cross and Blue Shield policy with I eventually took over. In these days Mom would have been able to stay on her parents health insurance for the first seven years of our marriage, but that was not the case back then. But even with really good insurance, it cost us $5000 in deductibles and copays to get Adam here. That was a crushing financial blow back then, but we shouldered it as best we could.
Adam was born at the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center, the same hospital I was born in. Mom's stay at the hospital was five days, due to having C-section delivery because the doctors didn't want to deal with Mother possibly having a seizure due to the trauma of labor. All went well, and I was soon holding this amazing little bundle. The first thing I checked for was eye color, which is very hard to tell in infants. I predicted "blue" and was proven right.
The fight over Adam's name soon began. I was not able to be with Mother 24/7 as I would have liked. I was there for the birth and then was busy with work. Mom and I had decided on Hyrum Adam Bennion. Grandma Brown was dead set against the name "Hyrum" for some reason. She told Mom that he would be teased in school, etc, etc. "Hi, Rummy!" I would convince Mom that Hyrum was fine and that Grandma would get over it, but each time Grandma would call back and talk Mom the other way.
I have always been stubborn and I wasn't about to let my mother-in-law name my first born. But after five exchanges, I could see that we were turning Mother into a punching bag for our contest of wills. So I relented for Mom's sake, but it took a lot of time to heal the wound.
The members of the Orem 12th Ward were very friendly and also helpful. One of them gave Mother $50 to help with our expenses. They knew how strapped we were and what a miracle it was that Mother was able to have children.
We moved a lot back in those days. After the 4-plex we moved to Y Mount Terrace--the Rabbit Hutches, so nicknamed for the reproductivity of the married student housing residents. This was a good move because I was taking classes at BYU and working in the Provo Temple laundry.
Mother and I were watching a movie one night and eating nachos with cheese dip. We were giving some of the chips to Adam, but being careful that he didn't get any of the jalapeños. But apparently not careful enough. Suddenly Adam began screaming in pain and slapping his right ear violently. We were horrified. What could possibly be wrong with our little boy? And then I realized that Adam must have gotten a bit of hot pepper lodged in the Eustachian tube. Once we realized that nothing serious was wrong, we laughed and laughed. Adam lived, and he still eats nachos with hot cheese sauce. Those were simpler days.
Adam's first word--well, first after "mama"--was "football." I used to watch BYU football on a TV Grandma and Grandpa Brown had given us--the same TV that Adam would destroy with a bread knife about five years later. I had a peewee football that Adam and I would toss back and forth to each other while we watched the game. So, he learned the word. I hear that BYU is 0-7 this year, but it's been too long since I watched a game.
I feel like I should tie this off with some amazing words of wisdom, but none are coming to me. I'll just say that Mom and I are very proud of our first born.
Sunday, October 15, 2017
What three events most shaped your life?
There are a couple of ways of looking at this: 1) what were the pivotal events in my life, and 2) what historical events had the greatest impact on my life. I have already talked about the pivotal events of my life. The top three would have to be: serving a mission, marrying your mother, and going back to school to become an educator. The top historical events would be: The Great Depression, World War II, and the Cold War.
My parents were both children during the Great Depression. The learned how to get by on little or nothing. Fix it, patch it, make it do, or do without. They both understood the blessing of work. The impact on me was that I learned the gospel of hard work, in the home, in the garden, at school, and on the job. There were times as a young man that I felt that the purpose of work was to earn money so that I could have fun and recreation. Now I understand that the happiest people find joy in serving others through their chosen profession. This lesson was a direct result of the parenting I received by two who weathered the Great Depression.
We didn't waste anything growing up. We were expected to clean our plates. In those days reference was made to the "starving children in China." Things have changed. I still have a problem not cleaning my plate. Even at school lunch when the food isn't that good, I have a hard time scraping leftovers into the trash.
I didn't experience the Depression myself, but I felt it.
World War II
When I was a boy I remember my drawings being very much filled with scenes from WWII: mostly airplanes with stars or swastikas on the sides and wings, or tanks, or ships. The real impact of WWII on my life was growing up in the America which had rescued the world from Hitler. American pride and nationalism was never greater. It wasn't the kind of American nationalism that you see now with the slogan, "America First!" It was a feeling that you could go anywhere in the world and people would treat you with respect and honor because of what America had done. Now, perhaps that notion was a false one, but it felt that way.
I grew up in an era of great prosperity brought about by two things: one was the work ethic of America coming out of the Depression and coming home from WWII, and the second was America's domination of world trade due to its positioning following the war. This didn't mean that I grew up in affluence, but it meant that I grew up in an America where the ability to clime from poverty into affluence was real and easy to pursue--for many.
The Cold War
The Cold War would impact my life in two ways: first, the Cold War generated the Space Race. The year I was born the Russians put the first satellite into earth orbit--Sputnik. That little spiked ball that circled earth giving of its beep, beep, beep radio signal scared America deeply. That fear drove America into a furious program of science and math development that would eventually put Neil Armstrong on the Moon. American education put strong emphasis on those subjects. The cliche when I was young was that boys would grow up to be a doctor, a lawyer, or an Indian Chief. Or an astronaut. Sears was marketing John Glen action figures with a space capsule that could be purchased separately. It's the one toy from you youth that I can remember really wanting, but never getting. I wanted to be the first man on the moon, though I didn't really understand the path I would have to follow to be that. In the summer of 1969 Neil Armstrong accomplished my life's goal. I think I drifted aimlessly after that. (Just kidding.)
The Cold War also gave us nuclear testing. In the years following WWII, America executed many above ground nuclear tests. Most of these were carried out in Eastern Nevada. The prevailing winds carry fallout eastward, or into Utah. Most of that fallout settled in the Utah mountains, of which the Wasatch Front was eminent. This meant that the water that irrigated the fields that grew the alfalfa that fed the cows from which I drank milk carried irradiated calcium which would end up in my bones. The effect was so pronounced that people from Utah County to Saint George are often called "Downwinders." Those from Nephi Utah and southward who were raised during that era and who since then have developed cancer receive an $50,000 downwinders check from the US Government. I was raised just north of the line drawn by the government, so I get nothing. I have no doubt that the line was drawn where it was because south of Utah County at the time was not very populated. Utah County was a population center and the government's liability would have been much, much higher if they had paid out for those people. I'm not going to say that I am angry or that I feel somehow cheated. It is just an arbitrary line as far as I'm concerned. And so far, Mother and I have sufficient for our needs, and that is enough for anyone. But there is no doubt in my mind, or in the mind of my doctors that my cancer, and probably my mother's as well was caused by the fallout from those nuclear tests. You can't play with that kind of power without consequence.
Finally, the Cold War caused for me, much fascination with Russia. This fascination was heightened by my belief that someday the doors of that country would be opened to missionary work. When I found that there was a Russian class offered at Orem High I signed up for two years. In those days it was required of young men to take a language aptitude test when submitting mission papers. I don't know how I scored, but I'm certain that I scored well. I know that the church was already preparing to send missionaries into Russia. When I was about 15, I heard LeGrand Richards prophesy that the doors of Russia would soon open to missionary work. So, when my paperwork came through with high language aptitude, and already some background in Russian, I was sent to the Finland, Helsinki mission, along with other Russian speaking missionaries, of which there weren't many, though I had a companion in the MTC who spoke Russian well enough that it messed with his attempts to learn Finnish.
Those were the times out of which I grew. America is a different place now. Those things are still in our past, but they are far enough in our past that when the next depression hits, we will not know what to do. Our lives are so automated, and internet dependent, that in a depression we would suffer greatly as a nation. We are not ready to live the way we had to live to survive in the 1930's. The vast bulk of our population is city bound, and would be in terrible want if the trucks stopped rolling groceries into the stores. That day is coming. I guess my proximity to the Depression in time makes me fear the day when it will come again. I know that the current generation of Americans does not fear nuclear war enough. It does not fear economic disaster enough, even though we narrowly escaped such in 2009. We are not ready, and the death toll will be terrible--biblical in the next depression or the next world war. The righteous will be in the hand of the Lord, so there is no need to be overly fearful. But there is reason to repent and to prepare.
My parents were both children during the Great Depression. The learned how to get by on little or nothing. Fix it, patch it, make it do, or do without. They both understood the blessing of work. The impact on me was that I learned the gospel of hard work, in the home, in the garden, at school, and on the job. There were times as a young man that I felt that the purpose of work was to earn money so that I could have fun and recreation. Now I understand that the happiest people find joy in serving others through their chosen profession. This lesson was a direct result of the parenting I received by two who weathered the Great Depression.
We didn't waste anything growing up. We were expected to clean our plates. In those days reference was made to the "starving children in China." Things have changed. I still have a problem not cleaning my plate. Even at school lunch when the food isn't that good, I have a hard time scraping leftovers into the trash.
I didn't experience the Depression myself, but I felt it.
World War II
When I was a boy I remember my drawings being very much filled with scenes from WWII: mostly airplanes with stars or swastikas on the sides and wings, or tanks, or ships. The real impact of WWII on my life was growing up in the America which had rescued the world from Hitler. American pride and nationalism was never greater. It wasn't the kind of American nationalism that you see now with the slogan, "America First!" It was a feeling that you could go anywhere in the world and people would treat you with respect and honor because of what America had done. Now, perhaps that notion was a false one, but it felt that way.
I grew up in an era of great prosperity brought about by two things: one was the work ethic of America coming out of the Depression and coming home from WWII, and the second was America's domination of world trade due to its positioning following the war. This didn't mean that I grew up in affluence, but it meant that I grew up in an America where the ability to clime from poverty into affluence was real and easy to pursue--for many.
The Cold War
The Cold War would impact my life in two ways: first, the Cold War generated the Space Race. The year I was born the Russians put the first satellite into earth orbit--Sputnik. That little spiked ball that circled earth giving of its beep, beep, beep radio signal scared America deeply. That fear drove America into a furious program of science and math development that would eventually put Neil Armstrong on the Moon. American education put strong emphasis on those subjects. The cliche when I was young was that boys would grow up to be a doctor, a lawyer, or an Indian Chief. Or an astronaut. Sears was marketing John Glen action figures with a space capsule that could be purchased separately. It's the one toy from you youth that I can remember really wanting, but never getting. I wanted to be the first man on the moon, though I didn't really understand the path I would have to follow to be that. In the summer of 1969 Neil Armstrong accomplished my life's goal. I think I drifted aimlessly after that. (Just kidding.)
The Cold War also gave us nuclear testing. In the years following WWII, America executed many above ground nuclear tests. Most of these were carried out in Eastern Nevada. The prevailing winds carry fallout eastward, or into Utah. Most of that fallout settled in the Utah mountains, of which the Wasatch Front was eminent. This meant that the water that irrigated the fields that grew the alfalfa that fed the cows from which I drank milk carried irradiated calcium which would end up in my bones. The effect was so pronounced that people from Utah County to Saint George are often called "Downwinders." Those from Nephi Utah and southward who were raised during that era and who since then have developed cancer receive an $50,000 downwinders check from the US Government. I was raised just north of the line drawn by the government, so I get nothing. I have no doubt that the line was drawn where it was because south of Utah County at the time was not very populated. Utah County was a population center and the government's liability would have been much, much higher if they had paid out for those people. I'm not going to say that I am angry or that I feel somehow cheated. It is just an arbitrary line as far as I'm concerned. And so far, Mother and I have sufficient for our needs, and that is enough for anyone. But there is no doubt in my mind, or in the mind of my doctors that my cancer, and probably my mother's as well was caused by the fallout from those nuclear tests. You can't play with that kind of power without consequence.
Finally, the Cold War caused for me, much fascination with Russia. This fascination was heightened by my belief that someday the doors of that country would be opened to missionary work. When I found that there was a Russian class offered at Orem High I signed up for two years. In those days it was required of young men to take a language aptitude test when submitting mission papers. I don't know how I scored, but I'm certain that I scored well. I know that the church was already preparing to send missionaries into Russia. When I was about 15, I heard LeGrand Richards prophesy that the doors of Russia would soon open to missionary work. So, when my paperwork came through with high language aptitude, and already some background in Russian, I was sent to the Finland, Helsinki mission, along with other Russian speaking missionaries, of which there weren't many, though I had a companion in the MTC who spoke Russian well enough that it messed with his attempts to learn Finnish.
Those were the times out of which I grew. America is a different place now. Those things are still in our past, but they are far enough in our past that when the next depression hits, we will not know what to do. Our lives are so automated, and internet dependent, that in a depression we would suffer greatly as a nation. We are not ready to live the way we had to live to survive in the 1930's. The vast bulk of our population is city bound, and would be in terrible want if the trucks stopped rolling groceries into the stores. That day is coming. I guess my proximity to the Depression in time makes me fear the day when it will come again. I know that the current generation of Americans does not fear nuclear war enough. It does not fear economic disaster enough, even though we narrowly escaped such in 2009. We are not ready, and the death toll will be terrible--biblical in the next depression or the next world war. The righteous will be in the hand of the Lord, so there is no need to be overly fearful. But there is reason to repent and to prepare.
Sunday, October 8, 2017
What times in your life truly “tested your mettle,” and what did you learn about yourself by dealing (or not dealing) with them?
I think I have already talked about times when my mettle was tested in previous posts. Here's a list:
1. Going back to school to become a teacher.
2. Student teaching. (This was the hardest thing I think I've ever done.)
3. The decision to have Jacob.
When we lived in Pleasant Grove I served for a time as Ward Mission Leader (I was just set apart for that calling again today.) One of the responsibilities at that time was to teach the Temple Preparation class. I made it a priority to attend the temple with each new couple who graduated this class. On one of these occasions, Mom and I were with a young couple in the Timpanogos Temple. Near the end of the ceremony we were joined in prayer. Mom started to dry, though I didn't notice because I was intent on the words of the prayer. After we entered the Celestial Room, Mom and I sat together; she was very emotional and said, "Tell me I'm crazy." I complied with that request and said, "You're crazy." Then I asked what was the matter. Mom told me that the Spirit had spoken clearly to her during the prayer that we were to have another child. I had been expecting this for quite some time, and told her that I thought that we should follow that direction.
At Emily's birth (which was a little unexpected--there isn't nearly the space between Em and Jen as between any of the other siblings) Mom was under some pressure from her mother to have her tubes tied. I wasn't in favor of this, but knew that Mom was going to be under considerable stress with four little ones, two in diapers, to care for. So, I acquiesced. Before mother and I were married we met with her bishop in Soda Springs. He counseled me that Mom would know when we should have children. Knowing that a tubal ligation (tubes tied) can be reversed, I felt that when the time came, Mom and I could have another child or two (initially, Mom and I thought we would have 6 children).
So Mom and I called her OBGyn and set an appointment for a tubal reanastomosis (reconnection, or untying of the tubes). The cost of the procedure would be $6000 of which our insurance would cover $0. I had recently left work at SILO for RC Willey. SILO had gone out of business, and so there was a settlement of a retirement account. I had the option to take the money now, or reinvest the money into another retirement account. The amount was almost exactly $6000. We felt that the Lord was helping us to do as He had directed--a thing that he always will do if we have faith. So we had the procedure done at the Utah Valley Regional Hospital.
I came to the hospital the following day to visit Mom and to see how soon she would be able to come home. She looked more weak and frail in that hospital bed than I have ever seen her, and I was struck with how dangerous any medical procedure is, how easily I could lose her, how I could never explain to her parents what we had done, and how willingly Mom did what Heavenly Father asked her to do. Whatever else, your mother is a woman of great faith and obedience. I wanted to get something special for Mom, but had no money. I found a glass jar, tall, and slightly aqua in color, with a ceramic lid decorated with grapes. I filled it with her favorite candy, red licorice vines and brought it to her. We still have the jar.
It would be five or six years and a move to Kansas before Jacob would be born. During that time, Mom and I were tempted to think that perhaps the feeling we had had in the temple was just a feeling. I will not go into any details, but when Jacob was conceived, Mom and I both knew. We didn't need a pregnancy test. He was born while we were living in Santa Fe Street in Scott City, just days before the 9/11 attacks.
How was this a testing of my mettle, or Mom's mettle? Our mettle? First, it takes faith to recognize the promptings of the Spirit and to act on those promptings. We knew that trying to have another baby would cause worry and perhaps worse with Grandma and Grandpa Brown who were very pragmatic and also very worried about Mom's well being. So we didn't dare tell them about the reanastomosis or that Mom was pregnant until two months before Jacob was born. I was tested whether I would believe the promise made by Mother's bishop that she would know when it was time for her to have children. (I do not recommend, except in very extreme cases, the procedure of tubal ligation. It is too expensive to undo, and the chances for success in reanastimosis are not high enough. We were blessed. This is an issue not to tempt fate with.) Our faith was tested as we sacrificed $6000 to follow a prompting. Our faith was tested as we waited years for the fulfillment of the prompting. The blessings for that faithfulness have been wonderful.
P.S. I know that it appears that Mother and I care for Jacob far more than we did for the rest of you. We attend his sports and school events far more than we could attend yours. I can only say that we could not have attended your event as we desired. Second, Mom and I are older which means that we are wiser, but that we are also weaker. It is looking more and more that I won't be able to take Jacob on the 50 mile backpacking trip that is on my bucket list. I may have to rely on his brothers, or uncle to do this for me. So, you got a younger, stronger parent who made many more parenting mistakes. Jacob has an older, wiser parent who makes fewer parenting mistakes, but physically can't do all that a boy needs his father to do. There should be no doubt but that I love all of my children. I am proud of all of you. Each of you were had at great sacrifice, and each of you give Mom and I our greatest joy and happiness as you live the gospel and raise your children in it. I have nothing to show for my life except you, and if I had anything else it wouldn't make a difference. Each of you is precious in my and Mom's crown.
4. The tough decision to move to Kansas.
Grandma and Grandpa Brown were happy that we lived close. They would have been happier if we had lived even closer, though I don't think that our living closer would have done anything to save their marriage. Perhaps. But that is not the direction that we were led.
Grandma and Grandpa held money from the settlement with the railroad from Mom's train accident. It was a significant amount of money. They had told Mom that she should never mention that money to anyone, especially not to the young men that she dated. They were concerned that a young man would try to marry Mom to get control of her money. I have never taken offense to that council. Parents should protect their children. After I started work at SILO, Mom began to want to find a house and to move out of the apartment we lived in. The new income made this possible. So we started to see homes with a couple of different realtors. A woman showed us the Pleasant Grove home which was priced about $5000 above our set limit. I asked if we should put in an offer at our price. She said that it wouldn't have a chance. So we went on looking. A while later, a few weeks maybe, we were visiting with another realtor and asked what the PG property had sold for. He told us that it had sold for the exact amount that we had thought to offer. I was upset, but he said that we should put in a back-up offer. I didn't think that there was much chance, but we did. Two months later he called me at SILO to tell me that I had just bought a house.
Grandpa and Grandma freed up a good chunk of Mom's railroad money as a down payment on the house and we moved in. This is significant, because years later when we made the decision to move to Kansas, they were hurt. They had helped us settle in the area. They wanted us close.
Just a few months after taking the job with SILO I played a terrible April Fools Day joke. The company was spreading rumors of expanding into markets in California. I called Mother and told her that SILO was considering me for an assistant manager position in California, but that I wanted to know what she thought before I gave an answer. I told her that we would talk when I got home that night. I knew that Mom's first move once I was off the phone would be to call her mother. I knew that I could never trick Grandma Brown with the joke, but I knew that Mother would pull it off wonderfully if she didn't know. And she did. An hour later I called Mother back and said, "April Fools!" She had to call her mother and told her. Grandma had called every relative she could get on the line and cried that I was taking her daughter so far away. I don't want to make too much fun, because I know that Grandma's reaction was born of her long hours at Mother's hospital bed side. It was the perfect, and the most terrible joke.
So now we were going to tell Grandma and Grandpa that we were selling the home they had helped us to buy, and that we were moving to the other side of the Rocky Mountains. This was a case in which the Spirit had given us direction, and we were concerned that Grandpa and Grandma's faith was not strong enough to understand what we were doing and why.
As I was completing my schooling, Mom and I attended a Church broadcast missionary fireside. N Eldon Porter was speaking about convert retention. In the middle of his speech, I received the prompting to take the family and move to the mission field where I would find fulfillment in missionary work. My initial response was to argue that I could not ask Mother to leave our nice home, our wonderful ward, and her family. I didn't give the prompting anymore thought, until Mother turned to me (maybe two minutes later) and said, "I have a strong feeling that we should move to the mission field." My patriarchal blessing talks of missionary work that I will do; Mother's talks of work that she will do in the auxiliaries of the Church. Mom felt that she would not have the chance in a ward like those in Utah to fill callings due to her limitations relative to her handicaps. I told Mom of the prompting that I had just had, and knew that the Lord had heard my argument and solved it for me: I didn't have to ask Mother to make the required sacrifices--the Lord asked her. We didn't have any argument on the question, but began preparing to do what the Lord had asked of us. The difficulty was in telling Grandma and Grandpa what we had decided.
Grandma and Grandpa didn't take to our decision well. A battle of wills ensued. I had seen this before and knew how tenacious Grandma Brown could be. When Adam was born Mom and I wanted to name him Hyrum Adam Bennion. Grandma Brown was adamant that this wasn't going to happen. Mom and I would talk and it would be Hyrum. Mom would talk with Grandma and it would not be Hyrum. And this went back and forth five times--while Mother was recovering from C-section delivery in the hospital. I wasn't about to be swayed, but finally decided that Mother didn't need to be the ball in a ferocious game of tetherball between Grandma and me. So our first born would be named Adam. And his son would be Hyrum.
I could see that the battle between Grandma and myself over the move to Kansas was going to be a hard fought, emotional one, and once again I wanted to protect Mother from being the ball being smashed back and forth. Grandma and Grandpa Brown decided to come visit us to talk us out of the move. We didn't feel that we could explain to them that the Lord had asked us to make the move. We knew that it wasn't logical. But we were determined to do it. And our mettle was tested. At one point in the "discussion" I said to Grandma and Grandpa, "This has to stop. Stop it." Grandpa rose from his chair and was somewhat moved to get physical. I doubt that he would have done anything, but it was a very tense moment. I said that it was not right to make Jodi the emotional football in this contest. We had considered all of their ideas, thoughts, and arguments, and still felt that this was a move that we needed to make. It would have been easier to cave to their desires, and I would have had I not known that we were doing what the Lord directed us to do. Our mettle, our testimonies, our faith in God's promises were all tested, and we were greatly blessed for our determination.
We were blessed to be removed from the terrible divorce that was about to happen. We were blessed to get our children away from some very bad influences. We have been blessed in the fulfillment of patriarchal blessing promises. I have baptized many more people than I did on my mission. Mom has filled callings as president of auxiliaries. The greatest blessing is that our children were raised in a family where revelation has been received and followed. We are grateful that we could share with you our decision to move. We held a family home evening in which we read the story of Lehi and his family leaving Jerusalem and going into the wilderness. Our decision to name our last child "Jacob" instead of James is linked to Lehi's naming of his second to last as "Jacob, my first born in the wilderness." We have been blessed in that our children have followed the Gospel and are raising their little ones to do the same. There is no other blessing to compare. We will keep this blessing forever. All others fade or fail.
5. Going back to school to become a principal.
6. Finding a job as principal.
7. Standing up to cancer.
8. The tough decision to move to Missouri and go back to teaching.
9. Finally pursuing writing--an ongoing test.
Message me and let me know which of these you want to know more about and I'll write about those.
1. Going back to school to become a teacher.
2. Student teaching. (This was the hardest thing I think I've ever done.)
3. The decision to have Jacob.
When we lived in Pleasant Grove I served for a time as Ward Mission Leader (I was just set apart for that calling again today.) One of the responsibilities at that time was to teach the Temple Preparation class. I made it a priority to attend the temple with each new couple who graduated this class. On one of these occasions, Mom and I were with a young couple in the Timpanogos Temple. Near the end of the ceremony we were joined in prayer. Mom started to dry, though I didn't notice because I was intent on the words of the prayer. After we entered the Celestial Room, Mom and I sat together; she was very emotional and said, "Tell me I'm crazy." I complied with that request and said, "You're crazy." Then I asked what was the matter. Mom told me that the Spirit had spoken clearly to her during the prayer that we were to have another child. I had been expecting this for quite some time, and told her that I thought that we should follow that direction.
At Emily's birth (which was a little unexpected--there isn't nearly the space between Em and Jen as between any of the other siblings) Mom was under some pressure from her mother to have her tubes tied. I wasn't in favor of this, but knew that Mom was going to be under considerable stress with four little ones, two in diapers, to care for. So, I acquiesced. Before mother and I were married we met with her bishop in Soda Springs. He counseled me that Mom would know when we should have children. Knowing that a tubal ligation (tubes tied) can be reversed, I felt that when the time came, Mom and I could have another child or two (initially, Mom and I thought we would have 6 children).
So Mom and I called her OBGyn and set an appointment for a tubal reanastomosis (reconnection, or untying of the tubes). The cost of the procedure would be $6000 of which our insurance would cover $0. I had recently left work at SILO for RC Willey. SILO had gone out of business, and so there was a settlement of a retirement account. I had the option to take the money now, or reinvest the money into another retirement account. The amount was almost exactly $6000. We felt that the Lord was helping us to do as He had directed--a thing that he always will do if we have faith. So we had the procedure done at the Utah Valley Regional Hospital.
I came to the hospital the following day to visit Mom and to see how soon she would be able to come home. She looked more weak and frail in that hospital bed than I have ever seen her, and I was struck with how dangerous any medical procedure is, how easily I could lose her, how I could never explain to her parents what we had done, and how willingly Mom did what Heavenly Father asked her to do. Whatever else, your mother is a woman of great faith and obedience. I wanted to get something special for Mom, but had no money. I found a glass jar, tall, and slightly aqua in color, with a ceramic lid decorated with grapes. I filled it with her favorite candy, red licorice vines and brought it to her. We still have the jar.
It would be five or six years and a move to Kansas before Jacob would be born. During that time, Mom and I were tempted to think that perhaps the feeling we had had in the temple was just a feeling. I will not go into any details, but when Jacob was conceived, Mom and I both knew. We didn't need a pregnancy test. He was born while we were living in Santa Fe Street in Scott City, just days before the 9/11 attacks.
How was this a testing of my mettle, or Mom's mettle? Our mettle? First, it takes faith to recognize the promptings of the Spirit and to act on those promptings. We knew that trying to have another baby would cause worry and perhaps worse with Grandma and Grandpa Brown who were very pragmatic and also very worried about Mom's well being. So we didn't dare tell them about the reanastomosis or that Mom was pregnant until two months before Jacob was born. I was tested whether I would believe the promise made by Mother's bishop that she would know when it was time for her to have children. (I do not recommend, except in very extreme cases, the procedure of tubal ligation. It is too expensive to undo, and the chances for success in reanastimosis are not high enough. We were blessed. This is an issue not to tempt fate with.) Our faith was tested as we sacrificed $6000 to follow a prompting. Our faith was tested as we waited years for the fulfillment of the prompting. The blessings for that faithfulness have been wonderful.
P.S. I know that it appears that Mother and I care for Jacob far more than we did for the rest of you. We attend his sports and school events far more than we could attend yours. I can only say that we could not have attended your event as we desired. Second, Mom and I are older which means that we are wiser, but that we are also weaker. It is looking more and more that I won't be able to take Jacob on the 50 mile backpacking trip that is on my bucket list. I may have to rely on his brothers, or uncle to do this for me. So, you got a younger, stronger parent who made many more parenting mistakes. Jacob has an older, wiser parent who makes fewer parenting mistakes, but physically can't do all that a boy needs his father to do. There should be no doubt but that I love all of my children. I am proud of all of you. Each of you were had at great sacrifice, and each of you give Mom and I our greatest joy and happiness as you live the gospel and raise your children in it. I have nothing to show for my life except you, and if I had anything else it wouldn't make a difference. Each of you is precious in my and Mom's crown.
4. The tough decision to move to Kansas.
Grandma and Grandpa Brown were happy that we lived close. They would have been happier if we had lived even closer, though I don't think that our living closer would have done anything to save their marriage. Perhaps. But that is not the direction that we were led.
Grandma and Grandpa held money from the settlement with the railroad from Mom's train accident. It was a significant amount of money. They had told Mom that she should never mention that money to anyone, especially not to the young men that she dated. They were concerned that a young man would try to marry Mom to get control of her money. I have never taken offense to that council. Parents should protect their children. After I started work at SILO, Mom began to want to find a house and to move out of the apartment we lived in. The new income made this possible. So we started to see homes with a couple of different realtors. A woman showed us the Pleasant Grove home which was priced about $5000 above our set limit. I asked if we should put in an offer at our price. She said that it wouldn't have a chance. So we went on looking. A while later, a few weeks maybe, we were visiting with another realtor and asked what the PG property had sold for. He told us that it had sold for the exact amount that we had thought to offer. I was upset, but he said that we should put in a back-up offer. I didn't think that there was much chance, but we did. Two months later he called me at SILO to tell me that I had just bought a house.
Grandpa and Grandma freed up a good chunk of Mom's railroad money as a down payment on the house and we moved in. This is significant, because years later when we made the decision to move to Kansas, they were hurt. They had helped us settle in the area. They wanted us close.
Just a few months after taking the job with SILO I played a terrible April Fools Day joke. The company was spreading rumors of expanding into markets in California. I called Mother and told her that SILO was considering me for an assistant manager position in California, but that I wanted to know what she thought before I gave an answer. I told her that we would talk when I got home that night. I knew that Mom's first move once I was off the phone would be to call her mother. I knew that I could never trick Grandma Brown with the joke, but I knew that Mother would pull it off wonderfully if she didn't know. And she did. An hour later I called Mother back and said, "April Fools!" She had to call her mother and told her. Grandma had called every relative she could get on the line and cried that I was taking her daughter so far away. I don't want to make too much fun, because I know that Grandma's reaction was born of her long hours at Mother's hospital bed side. It was the perfect, and the most terrible joke.
So now we were going to tell Grandma and Grandpa that we were selling the home they had helped us to buy, and that we were moving to the other side of the Rocky Mountains. This was a case in which the Spirit had given us direction, and we were concerned that Grandpa and Grandma's faith was not strong enough to understand what we were doing and why.
As I was completing my schooling, Mom and I attended a Church broadcast missionary fireside. N Eldon Porter was speaking about convert retention. In the middle of his speech, I received the prompting to take the family and move to the mission field where I would find fulfillment in missionary work. My initial response was to argue that I could not ask Mother to leave our nice home, our wonderful ward, and her family. I didn't give the prompting anymore thought, until Mother turned to me (maybe two minutes later) and said, "I have a strong feeling that we should move to the mission field." My patriarchal blessing talks of missionary work that I will do; Mother's talks of work that she will do in the auxiliaries of the Church. Mom felt that she would not have the chance in a ward like those in Utah to fill callings due to her limitations relative to her handicaps. I told Mom of the prompting that I had just had, and knew that the Lord had heard my argument and solved it for me: I didn't have to ask Mother to make the required sacrifices--the Lord asked her. We didn't have any argument on the question, but began preparing to do what the Lord had asked of us. The difficulty was in telling Grandma and Grandpa what we had decided.
Grandma and Grandpa didn't take to our decision well. A battle of wills ensued. I had seen this before and knew how tenacious Grandma Brown could be. When Adam was born Mom and I wanted to name him Hyrum Adam Bennion. Grandma Brown was adamant that this wasn't going to happen. Mom and I would talk and it would be Hyrum. Mom would talk with Grandma and it would not be Hyrum. And this went back and forth five times--while Mother was recovering from C-section delivery in the hospital. I wasn't about to be swayed, but finally decided that Mother didn't need to be the ball in a ferocious game of tetherball between Grandma and me. So our first born would be named Adam. And his son would be Hyrum.
I could see that the battle between Grandma and myself over the move to Kansas was going to be a hard fought, emotional one, and once again I wanted to protect Mother from being the ball being smashed back and forth. Grandma and Grandpa Brown decided to come visit us to talk us out of the move. We didn't feel that we could explain to them that the Lord had asked us to make the move. We knew that it wasn't logical. But we were determined to do it. And our mettle was tested. At one point in the "discussion" I said to Grandma and Grandpa, "This has to stop. Stop it." Grandpa rose from his chair and was somewhat moved to get physical. I doubt that he would have done anything, but it was a very tense moment. I said that it was not right to make Jodi the emotional football in this contest. We had considered all of their ideas, thoughts, and arguments, and still felt that this was a move that we needed to make. It would have been easier to cave to their desires, and I would have had I not known that we were doing what the Lord directed us to do. Our mettle, our testimonies, our faith in God's promises were all tested, and we were greatly blessed for our determination.
We were blessed to be removed from the terrible divorce that was about to happen. We were blessed to get our children away from some very bad influences. We have been blessed in the fulfillment of patriarchal blessing promises. I have baptized many more people than I did on my mission. Mom has filled callings as president of auxiliaries. The greatest blessing is that our children were raised in a family where revelation has been received and followed. We are grateful that we could share with you our decision to move. We held a family home evening in which we read the story of Lehi and his family leaving Jerusalem and going into the wilderness. Our decision to name our last child "Jacob" instead of James is linked to Lehi's naming of his second to last as "Jacob, my first born in the wilderness." We have been blessed in that our children have followed the Gospel and are raising their little ones to do the same. There is no other blessing to compare. We will keep this blessing forever. All others fade or fail.
5. Going back to school to become a principal.
6. Finding a job as principal.
7. Standing up to cancer.
8. The tough decision to move to Missouri and go back to teaching.
9. Finally pursuing writing--an ongoing test.
Message me and let me know which of these you want to know more about and I'll write about those.
Sunday, October 1, 2017
What did you believe about yourself that helped you become successful and deal with hard times?
When I was young I believed that I could do whatever I put my mind to. Now, at age 59 I'm starting to understand that that isn't the case anymore. Somethings skills take years to develop, so it is important to choose what you will pursue. There is a good book by Carol Dweck titled Mindset that explains how I felt about myself. My mother is responsible for developing the mindset in her children that we could do anything we put our minds to. I attended Brigham Young University's lab school for my elementary where I was taught with cutting edge ideas in education.
The Book of Mormon teaches through the stories of Nephi and Aamon and his brothers that difficulties can be overcome through faith in the Lord and through persistent effort. The little saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again," was spoken often in my childhood, and the story of the Little Engine that Could was a favorite of mine. The growth mindset that Dweck writes about can be developed at anytime, but is easiest learned in the developmental years.
Introspection is another habit that leads to success and is helpful in overcoming difficulties. I have written in a journal since my teens. Much of what I wrote in those early years is childish drivel, but that's not the point. Taking the time to write about my life and my struggles caused me to think more deeply about my goals and my challenges.
Another habit that has been helpful to me has been to constantly read and study my profession. Sales is an area in which much has been written in the way of motivation and instruction. I highly recommend for anyone a book by Frank Bettger titled, How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success through Selling. Bettger borrows an idea from Ben Franklin in which he takes 13 principles of improvement and focuses on one at a time for one week each, repeating this cycle four times in a year. Over a lifetime these 13 things become second nature. Ben Franklin's autobiography is also excellent reading. The idea put forth is that of constant improvement.
In my days at SILO I attended a seminar with the philosophies of Tony Robbins. He is a sort of West Coast self proclaimed guru of self improvement. His ideas are infectious, and I listened to tapes of his often. Robbins is also a big promotor of constant improvement. Robbins's book, Awaken the Giant Within, is worth reading.
I should give a caution at this point. I hold strongly with the council of Jacob in the Book of Mormon to seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness. Gain a firm foundation by studying the Book of Mormon and the Bible, as well as the other standard works. Read Hugh Nibley's books, in particular Since Cummorah, and Lehi and the World of the Jaredites. Once you have a sure foundation in the gospel, the learning of the world will not shake you. You will be able to see the truths and the errors in the learning of the world more clearly. You will be able to glean from the learning of the world things that will strengthen you and your testimony. It has been a pleasure of mine to hear a book that I have discovered quoted from in Conference. This happened with Carol Dweck's book, Mindset. I was very pleased.
I have had times of deep trouble and depression that was almost debilitating. Until you have experienced it, you cannot know how helpless and how beyond self help the depressed person is. I have always had my faith in Christ to fall on in such times. I have had to abandon pride, but that is no good thing anyway. The Lord is my Shepherd, I know that when I am lost he will leave the ninety-and-nine and come to find me. The last few years in particular have taught me that I can let go of worldly things. Years ago if I had run into the kind of trouble I'm hitting right now, I might have capsized. But I take life's rogue waves in stride these days. There is no drowning. Mom and I follow Dori's exhortation, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."
Listening to conference today, I am not concerned by President Eyring's warning that your generation will see greater trouble. I believe that you will face it well. Your little ones will face it well. Life is good. The Lord is in control and his purposes can't be frustrated.
The Book of Mormon teaches through the stories of Nephi and Aamon and his brothers that difficulties can be overcome through faith in the Lord and through persistent effort. The little saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again," was spoken often in my childhood, and the story of the Little Engine that Could was a favorite of mine. The growth mindset that Dweck writes about can be developed at anytime, but is easiest learned in the developmental years.
Introspection is another habit that leads to success and is helpful in overcoming difficulties. I have written in a journal since my teens. Much of what I wrote in those early years is childish drivel, but that's not the point. Taking the time to write about my life and my struggles caused me to think more deeply about my goals and my challenges.
Another habit that has been helpful to me has been to constantly read and study my profession. Sales is an area in which much has been written in the way of motivation and instruction. I highly recommend for anyone a book by Frank Bettger titled, How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success through Selling. Bettger borrows an idea from Ben Franklin in which he takes 13 principles of improvement and focuses on one at a time for one week each, repeating this cycle four times in a year. Over a lifetime these 13 things become second nature. Ben Franklin's autobiography is also excellent reading. The idea put forth is that of constant improvement.
In my days at SILO I attended a seminar with the philosophies of Tony Robbins. He is a sort of West Coast self proclaimed guru of self improvement. His ideas are infectious, and I listened to tapes of his often. Robbins is also a big promotor of constant improvement. Robbins's book, Awaken the Giant Within, is worth reading.
I should give a caution at this point. I hold strongly with the council of Jacob in the Book of Mormon to seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness. Gain a firm foundation by studying the Book of Mormon and the Bible, as well as the other standard works. Read Hugh Nibley's books, in particular Since Cummorah, and Lehi and the World of the Jaredites. Once you have a sure foundation in the gospel, the learning of the world will not shake you. You will be able to see the truths and the errors in the learning of the world more clearly. You will be able to glean from the learning of the world things that will strengthen you and your testimony. It has been a pleasure of mine to hear a book that I have discovered quoted from in Conference. This happened with Carol Dweck's book, Mindset. I was very pleased.
I have had times of deep trouble and depression that was almost debilitating. Until you have experienced it, you cannot know how helpless and how beyond self help the depressed person is. I have always had my faith in Christ to fall on in such times. I have had to abandon pride, but that is no good thing anyway. The Lord is my Shepherd, I know that when I am lost he will leave the ninety-and-nine and come to find me. The last few years in particular have taught me that I can let go of worldly things. Years ago if I had run into the kind of trouble I'm hitting right now, I might have capsized. But I take life's rogue waves in stride these days. There is no drowning. Mom and I follow Dori's exhortation, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."
Listening to conference today, I am not concerned by President Eyring's warning that your generation will see greater trouble. I believe that you will face it well. Your little ones will face it well. Life is good. The Lord is in control and his purposes can't be frustrated.