Chapter 6: Lies and Revelations

Chapter 6: Lies and Revelations

   Abri’s life with Da hadn’t been a bad life, but….  She had no memory of her mother.  Da had
taught her early how to work the farm.  The more competent she became, the less she saw of him. 
She learned discipline from the farm work.  And she learned to entertain herself with long hours
alone with her thoughts.  

   During the long walk home from the work camp Abri’s mind was filled with foreboding.  What
should she do now?  How would Da react?  Could Da run the farm if she left?  Abri didn’t think it
likely that she would be able to stay and continue the work of the farm.  Should she go to
Gillingham and turn herself in?  If she did, would he send her to the work camp?  Should she run
away?  Where?  

    Abri knew that this much mental confusion would likely bring on a seizure and the voice would
speak to her again.  She pondered why the voice had directed her to the work camp.  What had
been the gain?  What had she learned?  What difference had her visit made for John?  

   She didn’t have long to ponder these things, however, because she saw two men on horseback
swiftly approaching.  Quickly she hid herself in the trees and watched.  One of the men was Da;
she could tell by his riding coat and hat, plus she recognized Da’s horse.  The second man was…?
Abri squinted, “Gerald?” Her intonation rose with question and surprise and her nose wrinkled with
disgust.  What is Gillingham’s nephew doing with Da? she thought.

   With childish reasoning (which was beneath her) Abri hid and watched the two men ride by. 
Then she hurried home, stopping to check on the farm.  She opened a gate at the weir pond and
flooded the fields.  Then she walked home and began preparing the evening meal as if nothing
had happened.  When Da got home she would claim that she had to go back to the fields to close
the gate (true enough), giving the appearance that she had been working the fields all day.   

    

   It was very late when Da rode home. 

   Abri greeted him with “You’re late.  Supper’s on the table.  I’ve got to run back to the fields and
shut the weir gate.”  With that she put on her jacket and made for the door.

   Da’s strong arm reached in front of her and took a firm grip of her left shoulder.  “You’ll do no such
thing.”  And he forced her into a chair at the table.  Da positioned himself between Abri and the door. 
His face was red, his eyes wide but with small, piercing pupils, and the veins at his temples bulged.  

   “You’ll start by telling me where you’ve been, Abi,”

   “I’ve been at the farm.  I have to go back and shut the weir.”

   “That’s a lie!” and Da raised an arm into striking position.  

   Abri searched her mind.  No one at the camp knew she had been there except John and he
would not have spoken a word.  Certainly Da had looked for her there, but there could have been
no evidence.

    “I’ve been to the fields.  Da, I must go back to shut the weir.  You can come with me to calm
your wild imagination if you like.”

    Da raised his arm a little higher, an indication that he didn’t believe her.  He felt the need to hit
something and brought his fist down hard on the table, rattling the plates and flatware.  

   The veins in Da’s temples danced with rage.

   Abri thought to herself, He knows.

   Abri glared at Da.  He glared back.

   “OK.  I didn’t go to Lord Gillingham’s as you told me.”  Da had been with Gerald, Abri thought,
so he knows that much.  “But I have been to the fields, Da.  I have.”

    “Have you been to the work camp?”  

    Abri’s hesitation would have said enough, but Da already knew the answer.

   “Da, I’ve been to the fields.”  This technically not a lie, but it wasn’t an answer either.  It was an
evasion.

   Abri felt like she was caught in her own web of lies.  Da knew something.  She looked up and
met Da’s stare.  She wanted to speak but couldn’t get her mouth to work.  The struggle filled her
with nausea, and she thought that one way or another something was going to come out of her
mouth,

   Da broke the silence.  “There’s a young man at the labor camp with his tongue cut out.  What do
you know of that?

   Abri shook her head.  “Nothing!”  Her exclamation was out of horror that a tongue would be cut
out, but she had not put details together yet.  

   “That’s horrible, Da.  Is it anyone we know?”  Abri’s question was sincere.  And then it hit her.

   “John!” she exclaimed and burst into tears.  Her whole body shook violently but not from a seizure. 
She tried to ball her hands into fists, but couldn’t.  The realization of what had been done to John
and why was more than she could bear.  She fell to the floor and curled up trying to find a place
where this terrible thing could not reach her.  

   “Da.  Da, what have I done.  Oh Da.”

   The rage drained out of Da as he witnessed Abri’s emotional state.  He picked her up and carried
her to the bed.  The cottage didn’t have a separate bedroom on the main level.  Abri had a bed in
the loft and Da slept in a corner opposite the kitchen area.  

   “Da, I’m so sorry.  I went to see if I could help John.  I….”  Abri couldn’t finish the thought.  She
had sense enough not to reveal what John had told her and not to give any hint that there had
been a conversation.  She regrouped her emotions and asked, “Da. why?”

   “The clan is a cruel lot, Abri.  John was warned as much before he joined, but being a young
man he didn’t understand.  What did John tell you?”

   Abri would have to lie again.  Because she was still quivering, it was easy to cover.  “Nothing,”
she sobbed.  “Nothing important.”

   “Well, the clan thought different.  Abi (Da’s anger was abated and he used the nickname) you’re
in danger.”

   “What?”

   “It’s sure an’ if the clan suspected John enough to cut out his tongue, they’ll suspect that you
know something they don’t want known.  Abi, they’ll be coming for you.”  

   Abri turned pale.    

   “Abi, I’m taking you to Gillingham’s in the morning.  You’ll spend the night in my bed.  There’ll be
no slipping out.  I’ll be on the chair and settee by the door.”

   “But Da, I really did open the weir gate.  We must go and shut it.”

   The cool night air settled Abri’s nerves.  Soft moonlight gave the landscape a deep blue shade
and the stars seemed somehow brighter in the great kaleidoscope sky.  Silent tears coursed down
Abri’s cheeks as she and Da walked the mile to the fields and the mile in return.  A dog smelled
them passing and let out a string of barks to say, “This is my domain.  Get you gone!”  

   Abri wanted Da to hold her, to protect her from the world, and from herself.  But she made no
more audible sobs

Chapter 5, Under a Waning Moon

   The next morning, Abri started as if she were headed to the Earl’s mansion, but when she was
well out of sight of home she veered off towards the work camp where the new rail line was being
built.  Abri had never seen a locomotive and had only her imagination to suggest what a rail line
might look like or what the work crews would be doing. 

   She chose not to walk the road, but kept it within sight.  She could detect any travel on the road,
but she could advance unnoticed in the trees.  

   At Noon, she stopped and ate a lunch she had brought: salted pork and a corn meal biscuit.  An
hour or so farther on, she was chased by a dog which she befriended by means of a scrap of the
salted pork.  It is true that some dogs are bred and trained to be vicious, but dogs are like humans
in the respect that most of them would prefer to make friends.  In no time Abri was scratching
behind the dog’s ears.  He would have followed her for the rest of his life.

   It was late in the afternoon when Abri found the camp which was deserted other than a group of
women who were busy about kettles over a fire.  From a particularly large kettle a woman drew out
what appeared to be work clothes and hung them on a line for drying.  Laundry.  The others must
be cooking something.

   Abri tried to guess where the work crew would be, but as the sun was maybe a hand from the
horizon, she figured that if she stayed put she would soon see the work crews coming back to camp. 
No need to go hunting them.

   So it was.  When the sun hit the horizon the work crew came trudging into camp.  Some made
straight for what must have been a barrel of water.  Others went to their tents and came back with
a tin for food.  They fell in line and passed one of the kettles where something was ladled into their
tin.  

   Abri watched for John.  She didn’t see him going for water and she didn’t see him line up for food. 
I can’t miss him, Abri thought, not with that flaming red hair of his. But she had missed him.  She
moved a little closer, leaving her secure hiding place.  It’s growing dark: they won’t see me, she
thought.

   There!  A tall, red headed, young man crawled out of a tent and advanced to the cooking kettle
with his tin in hand.  The line had died down, so he didn’t have to stand in line for long.  Abri watched
him and advanced.  Approaching directly at meal time would be a disaster, so she skirted the camp
and planned a safe route to the tent she had seen him emerge from. 

   The tents looked like they would hold four men comfortably or six otherwise.  Abri pondered how
she would get John’s attention before he entered the tent, because once he was in, she couldn’t
imagine seeing him without being discovered by his tent mates.  She unlaced her boots, took a bit
of leather from her traveling bag, and made a sling.  With this she slung a couple of stones at
leaves and thistles to make sure she wasn’t off on her aim.  Then she waited for John.  

   When the dinner was eaten (probably no more than a small potato and a piece of braised meat)
John made his way to a trench latrine where men were relieving themselves. Abri calculated the
path John might take from there to the tent and prepared to sling a small stone just hard enough
to get his attention.  The stone didn’t quite work.  John looked up, a quizzical look on his face, but
he continued his route to the tent. 

    Abri shot again and harder, this time aimed for his left shoulder.  John stopped at this, looked
around, muttered something, and then plodded on.  

   “Oough!” Abri whispered in disgust.  “The next one’s aimed for your thick head.”  But Abri thought
better of it and bounced the next stone off of his sternum.  

   “Ouch,” came John’s response; too loud.  Abri ducked behind a tree.  Peering out, she saw John
was moving in the direction from which the stone had struck him.  Finally.  Abri prepared the next
stone in case it was needed.  

   John’s loud voice boomed, “Who are ye, and where are ye hiding?”  He advanced three yards in
as many strides.  “Show yourself.”

   Abri risked a forceful but barely audible “Shush!”

   John stopped, listened, and then advanced cautiously now, in the direction of the “shush.” Abri
waved a handkerchief from behind her tree and John quickened his pace.  

   “Why did they take you, John,” Abri asked.

   Ignoring the question, John asked, “What are you doing here?”

   “I asked you first.”

   “Abi, they don’t show you the courtesy of telling you your crime.  There’d be no arguing the point
anyway.  They just take you.”

   “Well, I came to see you, to find out what happened, and to ask why you invited me to that
infernal clan meeting.”

   “Oh, that.”  John lowered his gaze.  “That was a mistake and I’m sorry for how you were treated.”

   “A mistake?!”  Abri was ready to unleash a little outrage.  “What is this clan, and why are you
involved with it?”  

   “I...ummm...ahh….”  John stammered.

   “John, they tied me up and left me at the crossroad,” Abri complained and shook her bandaged
wrists at him.

   John sat down and leaned his back against the tree.  He was tired from the long day’s labor. 
He wanted a second to breathe and to calculate his response.

   “Sit down, Abi,” he said.  And as she did, he added, “Let me see those wrists.”

   “No!” Abri replied and withdrew her hands.  

   “Abi, the clan is mostly the married men of the village.”  John was under the strictest vow of
secrecy where the clan was concerned, but he also saw that the only way he could advance
towards a relationship with Abri was to give her something.  “I’m sworn against my life not to reveal
even that.”

   John looked directly in Abri’s eyes, and time stopped in that moment, frozen in eternity.  Her
eyes were fathomless pools of grey.  In them were reflected the crescent moon and the first stars
of evening.  John felt himself falling helplessly, and he reached out to steady himself.

   “Abi, what I tell you next I can no tell without fear o’ death.  So I have to ask, What does my life
mean to you?”

   Abri was taken aback by the unexpected question.  “You’re a boy I’ve met on the road home
every night for the past five years.”  This wasn’t going to win the secret.  

   Abri fished for a response.  “You’re kind.  You’re simple in your ways but not in your mind.  You’re
loyal to your father.”  She could still see that she wasn’t winning.

   A pause.

   “John, you know that I value any life.  Even the wee rabbit I took the other evening, I gave thanks
to its spirit for the life it gave that I might eat and live.  Your life, I value above a thousand times that
rabbit.  Your words are safe with me.  I will not betray you.”

   John felt Abri’s sincerity and was moved.  “Abi, the clan is going to stop the rail.  Too many men
of our community will lose their livelihood if it succeeds.  They’ve recruited me to help with the
sabotage.   I’ve been severely punished for inviting you to the meeting.  It was foolish of me, but
I know what will happen to you if you are taken by Gillingham for the public works.  And...I wanted
their help.  I thought I would get some help because I’m helping them.  It’s really that simple.”

   “I can work as hard as any man, John.  What’s so hard about the public works?”

   “Yes, Abi, you can out work most of the men here.  But you’d be put to the women’s work which…”
John hesitated.  He didn’t know how to broach the topic of sex trafficing with a woman.

   Abri understood his sudden silence.

   “And the clan looks by as this women’s work goes on?”

   “No.  The clan has forbidden any member from seeing the women at night.  They have
threatened the rest of the men here if they visit the women’s tents.”

   “Well then, what’s the problem if I should be here?”

   “There’s the Earl’s men--the overseers.  The clan won’t threaten them.”

   “And why not them?”

   “Because the clan is working in secret here.  The Earl’s men mustn’t suspect the clan is here.” 

   Abri could see more clearly now.  If the Earl and the clan were to go to open war with each other
the village would suffer for it.  Nevertheless, the rail must be stopped to save the livelihoods of the
village.  

   Abri had a sudden question.  “How does one become a member of the clan?  Is it by invitation,
or by application?”  

   John didn’t quite grasp the question.

   “Do they ask you, or do you ask them?”

   “Oh,” John exclaimed as the light came on.  “They come to you.  There is no asking to join.  At
least I don’t think there is.”

   “And can you refuse an invitation?”

   “Your Da refused,” John replied.  

   This jolted Abri a little, even though she knew that Da was not a member of the clan.  

   The evening had transitioned to night.  The crescent moon had set.  The stars pieced the cold
night air like points of ice.  Abri noticed that she was leaning into John for his warmth.  She felt a
sense of security next to him.  She realized that he was missing sleep and that there would be a
physical price to pay on the work detail tomorrow.

   “John, I’ve kept you up way too long.”

   “I haven’t noticed,” John replied.  He wanted to say more but his anxiety overruled him..  He felt
Abri’s warmth as she leaned into him, and that was enough for now.  

   “John, I came with the vague notion that I would help you escape from here, but I can see that
you have other ideas.”

   “What are you going to do, Abi?”

   “I don’t have the foggiest notion,” she replied.  “I can’t see me going to visit Gillingham.  I can’t
see me going back to work the farm.  I don’t know.”

   

   John stood and took Abri’s hand to help her up.  He wanted to embrace and kiss her, but he
took one last deep look into her deep grey eyes.  “Be careful,” he said.

   “I will.”

   And they parted.

   Abri didn’t look back (as John did).  She did not see three figures steal from the shadows and slip
a black hood over John’s head.  

Chapter 4, Corn Cakes

After Darcie left, Abri climbed to her loft and lay down.  Her vision (her word for the clarity she
gained following a seizure) did not prompt her to appear at Lord Gillingham’s as Gerald had
commanded.  She wouldn’t have arrived by noon if she had gone; plus she was too exhausted
due to spending the night tied to a tree, not to mention that she always awoke from her fits
feeling completely wrung out.  

    Hours later, she woke with a start.  Da would be coming home and she had prepared nothing
for their evening meal.  The rabbit had been so small that there was no left-over stew.  Her mind
ran through the options: Beans?  No, they took hours to cook.  Soup?  She hadn’t been to the
fields and had nothing to put in a soup.  Bread would take too long to bake.

   She ground a handful of corn into meal, added a little bacon fat and buttermilk, and formed five
balls.  These she flattened into thin discs and fried in a cast iron skillet.  On top of each corn cake,
as she called them, she put a slice of salted pork and a slice of cheese.  This would have to do,
she thought and then ran to the well with the pitcher.  

   The rest of the evening was an anxiety festival as Abri thought about what Da would say and
what she would say.  Certainly he would see her bandaged wrists, but if she explained how she
got them she would have to explain about the clan, and Da would be apoplectic.  

   For many people anxiety is paralyzing.  One becomes unable to do the exact thing that would
relieve the anxiety.  Abri was not that type.  Her hatred of anxiety pain motivated her to face
whatever fear was causing it.  She would tell Da about her vision.  Perhaps she could explain that
her wrists were bleeding when she woke from the fit and that she had no idea how they were hurt. 
That was an innocent enough of a lie to tell.  

   Abri ate one of the corn cakes and left four for Da.  She never felt like eating much when she
was anxious.  

   Da was not late coming home this evening.  He sat down at the table, snatched up a corn cake,
and mumbled through a mouthful, “Is this it?”

   “Sorry.  I didn’t have time to make anything else.”

   “And how should that be?”

   What to say…? Abri hesitated.  

   Da interrupted Abri’s thinking.  “And why didn’t ye show at Lord Gillingham’s as instructed?”

   Abri thought, He hasn’t realized that I wasn’t home this morning when he went off to town.

   “Da, I had a vision.”

   “Oh, is that why you wouldn’t wake this morning?”

   “Da, I’m not to go to Lord Gillingham’s”

   “What? That won’t do, Abi.  That won’t do at all.”

   “Da, the vision told me to go to the labor camp and find John Saunders instead.”

   “Girl, you’ll do no such thing.  First thing on the morrow you’ll be going to the manor house
and presenting yourself.  You’ll make your excuse about having a seizure, and hopefully that
will be good enough to win some compassion from the Earl.”

   Abri looked doubtful.

   “Do you hear me, Girl?”

   Pause.

   “Do you hear me?  Abi, this is no small matter.  You’ll go if I have to drag you.”

   “OK, Da, I’ll go.”

   Da was satisfied with that, uncorked a small keg, and poured himself a mug of cider.  Abri sat
by the lamp at the table and tried to read, but she couldn’t concentrate on the page.  Her mind
kept returning to the conversation with Da and what she wished she had said.  

   The lie about going to the manor was harder to tell than the one she had planned on.  But if
she didn’t tell it, Da would drag her to the manor himself.   She would do as the vision had told
her--go see John Saunders--even though she feared to displease Da.  She blinked back a tear
and wondered if she was angry that Da had forced her into a lie, or if she was angry that she
had displeased him.  Reading was impossible, but she kept up the show of it for a while longer.  

   She lost the battle with her emotions when she realized that Da hadn’t even noticed the
bandages on her wrists.  She softly closed the book so as not to draw attention, climbed to the
loft, and silently cried herself to sleep.