What were the three best decisions you’ve ever made?

I don't remember ever making the first and most important decision, but I suppose that at some time I made the decision to be a follower of righteousness.  There were plenty of things in my young life that were out of sink with that decision, but every time the disparity between my actions and this choice became evident, I chose righteousness--repentance--and put my actions in line with my beliefs.  But there never was a time when I sat down and considered the choice.  Abraham says that he saw the happiness that there was to be had and because of that, chose to be a follower of righteousness.  I do believe that my pre-mortal choices play a part in this, and perhaps that why I can't remember when I made the choice.  I can't say that it was just in my nature to follow my parents' lead; I did plenty of rebelling.
   I can't remember a time when I didn't have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  This was not a choice.  The testimony was given to me by my parents.  I have had thoughts that could be said to be doubts, but these thoughts were never strong.  I suppose it could be said that I chose to do the things that would strengthen my testimony: read the scriptures, study the gospel (independent of the normal Church institutions and auxiliaries), seek God in prayer, etc.
   I did make the conscious decision to receive my patriarchal blessing at age 15.  I had been taught about these blessings, but it wasn't at the urging of my parents or my teachers that I sought my patriarchal blessing.  I felt a deep need for it, a hunger.  I was shy about talking to my parents about spiritual matters--I don't know why--so it took a lot of inner struggle to get up the nerve to ask my mother how I would go about getting it.  That is the first real decision relative to the gospel that I can remember making.  I got the blessing because I wanted it.  It has proven to be incredibly important throughout my life and is still playing a lead role in decisions that I make today.

I decided at a young age that I would serve a mission.  As a boy I always expected that I would do this.  My brother Joe set the example as had my father and his father before.  I never doubted that I would serve a mission, nor did I ever struggle with the decision.  My patriarchal blessing indicated that I would serve a mission.  There was a time in my high school years when serving a mission came into question.  A girl that was in a serious relationship with me suggested that I should give up the idea of a mission.  I couldn't think of that and she eventually broke up with me.  I often think what a protection it was to me that I had the decision to serve a mission firmly in place.  It has made a powerful difference in my life.

I wanted to marry someone who had a desire to follow the Savior.  So, following my mission, this was the key thing that I looked for when I became interested in any young lady.  When I first became interested in your mother we sat in a parking lot near the Wilkinson Center following a fireside and I asked Mother about her dedication to follow the Savior.  She gave the right answers.  It was shortly after this that the Spirit began prompting me to ask her to marry me.  I hadn't yet "fallen in love" with her and told the Lord that if he wanted me to ask her to marry me that he would need to help with that first.  Within two weeks I fell hard and wouldn't let go.  It is interesting to me that my first criterion was that she have a desire to follow the Savior--not just a testimony of Him.  Falling in love was critical, but came second.

I guess you could say that these are three decisions, but I will include one more.  Your mother and I decided that we would have children and that we would not wait to have them although we were encouraged by family and by doctors that we should wait.  It would have been financially better for us to wait.  But money has never been our reason for doing anything--hence we have no money.  But we do have beautiful, talented, and righteous children.  I would not change the decision to have any of you.  I am glad that we didn't wait until we could better afford children.  I'm glad that we didn't wait until we were sure that our marriage would work.  (Mom and I are both strong willed and stubborn so there have been times that we have butted heads, but each of us is more dedicated to the marriage than we are to ourselves.  There has never really been a time that the marriage wasn't going to make it. But modern philosophy considers this a good reason to postpone children.)  We didn't postpone children so that we could travel and do things together.  What we wanted most was you.  We couldn't wait to hold you, to see you grow, to go camping and hiking together.  Life has given Mother and me exactly what we asked for: you.  And now we are getting the great bonus of grandchildren.

What do you believe people want the most in life?

I attended a fireside at which the speaker discussed "triple 'A' protection."  He was referring to three basic human needs that are often neglected: Acceptance, Approval, and Appreciation.  He explained that when we give these things to others they will usually give them in return.
   If you have studied Maslow's hierarchy of needs, these three related things fit into the "social needs" section of the pyramid.  Let me explain.  The most basic of human needs we call "survival needs."  These include air to breathe, food to eat, water to drink, and shelter from the storm.  If we are deprived of these things we lose the ability to care about anything else.  I suppose that one of the positive effects of our habit of fasting is that we learn to set aside survival needs while attempting to develop high needs--spiritual needs.
   The second level of Maslow's hierarchy (there is more than one model because he developed and changed his ideas over time) is called "security needs."  This involved knowing where your next meal is coming from, knowing that there is plenty of breathable air, knowing that you have a shelter from the storm.  Security also involves personal safety: knowing how to avoid the bully at school, or the abuse at home.  For example, the student who is worried about which route to take after school to avoid a bully--that student will not be able to pay much attention to the teacher's prepared lesson, unless the teacher's lesson discusses how to deal with bullies.
   When these lower level needs are met and security is not a worry, a person develops social needs.  This is where the triple A comes into play.  Most of us are functioning at the social needs level.

•    Acceptance: we want to belong.  
•    Approval: we want others to agree with our way of thinking.
•    Appreciation: we want others to be pleased with the things we do.

   

“I believe that appreciation is a holy thing--that when we look for what's best in a person we happen to be with at the moment, we're doing what God does all the time. So in loving and appreciating our neighbor, we're participating in something sacred.” ― Fred Rogers

  Sometimes we discipline by withholding these things.  This causes more grief than it cures any bad behavior.  The Lord's way is to bolster his children with these things which brings them to obey out of love.  We would do well to follow the Lord's lead in this as Fred Rogers suggests.

There are higher levels to Maslow's hierarchy.  When a person's social needs are met, they will sometimes develop ego needs, or the need for power.  There are a few people form whom this need is over powering.

The top of Maslow's pyramid is called "self actualization."  This means fulfilling oneself by developing talents.  It can also mean fulfilling oneself by sacrificing one's own needs to help others achieve their needs.  Mothers do this the most.

What people want varies due to circumstance.  Their needs can usually be understood through Maslow's theories.

What do you think the world needs more of right now?

When I was a kid growing up in the 60's there was a popular song that handled this questions as well as it can be handled:

 What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No not just for some but for everyone.

--Jackie DeShannon

This hasn't changed since the 60's.  Of course, in the LDS Church we talk about "charity," or the "pure love of Christ."  To me it is beyond interesting that this is what Mormon and Moroni, two war generals, choose to focus on as their people are annihilated.  

We have bits of hate that we cling to, and we have little ways by which we justify it.  We say to ourselves that the suffering of the sufferer is justified because it is the consequence of sin and or stupidity.  There is no such room for hate in the pure love of Christ, otherwise he would not have performed the Atonement.  This is just exactly the loop hole through which we all would have slipped when the Savior cried to his Father, "let this cup pass from me."  

We are apt to say that we love this sinner, but we hate the sin.  Of course the sentiment on the surface is logical, but in reality, this is just another ruse we use to justify not loving the sinner.  

I will not go on.  Enough--perhaps too much--has been said in LDS circles about charity and what it means.  We have become like the Pharisees who endlessly debate the "weightier" doctrine, but still offer our alms, not to bless the sufferer, but to be seen of men.  Interestingly, the Savior's love extends even to the Pharisee.  The Pharisee is free to claim it if he will.  "My grace is sufficient for all men who humble themselves before me."  

I remember being taught that the Savior's words on the cross, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do," were directed at the Romans, but not at the Pharisees, as if the Atonement were unavailable to some.  I don't mean at all to preach that forgiveness and repentance are cheap.  The Pharisee's access to the saving graces comes through humility, a thing foreign to one of that mindset.  And foreign to us until we have compassion for the Pharisee.  

Enmity, the opposite of love, is increasing in the Earth.  Satan has sworn that he will gather the treasures of the Earth and then use enmity to carry out his reign of blood and horror.  We have seen him in his attempts to do this in WWI and in WWII.  The world now has the weaponry that could annihilate us.  Before long, our resolve to love rather than to use force and violence will be tested.  The treasures of the Earth have been amassed.  The desperate struggle to have more than the next person is resulting in worsening conditions for the poor. And rather than responding with compassion for the poor, we are directed by those involved in this Church of the Great and Abominable, Spacious Building that the poor have brought their misery upon themselves and will only learn to be better if we let them suffer.  Don't be confused; this is the Church of Satan in all of its splendor.  

The only answer to this growing hatred is love.  If the Savior's offer of the greatest love of all is not sufficient to turn us from our way, if we do not hear Lehi's invitation to come to the Tree of Life, then we are doomed to the fate the Book of Mormon warns us of--annihilation.